Dealing with difficult situations – especially during the holidays

boise Mar 06, 2017

We always have a choice in dealing with difficult situations. We may not be able to choose the situation or the outcome, but we can absolutely choose how we handle ourselves, our actions, our thoughts and our choices within any given situation.

The holidays find many of us in an emotional state where we are a bit more reactive than the rest of the year. Some of us are excited! Some of us are anxious. Some of us are sad or angry. Some of us are fearful.  It seems like the holidays become laden with expectations, memories, and the weight of holidays past. To be sure, many of those memories and expectations are positive. They can also leave us in a state where things we thought we had healed or dealt with in the past come back to us. Sometimes we inadvertently begin to compare our life THIS holiday season to the holidays seasons of years before. With all of the emotional energy of our family and friends coupled with our own expectations, we sometimes find ourselves in the middle of a crucial conversation where conflict may erupt.

Many times as children we have been taught that opposite of love is hate. I don’t agree. I believe that the opposite of love is fear. When we are in fear, we say things that might be hurtful to the people we love. We get stuck in lack mentality where we fear there isn’t enough (food, money, time) to go around. You can choose fear in that moment of a crucial conversation and then go down the rabbit hole of anxiety, hurt feelings, fear of loneliness, fear of rejection, and fear of failure. Or… you can choose love.

When those moments come to us around the holidays where our loved ones may engage us in a crucial conversation, we have a choice to make. We can choose fear or we can choose love. There are lots of ways you can choose love. You can choose to love yourself. You can choose to send love to the person you are in a crucial conversation with – even if you don’t like what they are saying. You can choose to send love to the people around you, people you know and people you don’t know. By choosing love you’ll find that you are also choosing to understand and empathize with the people around you. By choosing love, you’ll find you aren’t alone at all. By choosing love, you’ll find yourself engaging in more loving behavior to the people around you.

By choosing love, you’ll not only be choosing to send love, but you’ll be choosing to receive love. That is sometimes harder than giving love if we are saying mean things to ourselves. But like any gift, the giver wants you to receive the gift. The giver of love may be a person in your life, or may be an angel or Archangel, or maybe it’s God (Source, Universe, Spirit…insert whichever proper noun that resonates most for you) trying to send you love. Be open to receiving the love around you.

Fear cannot exist in the presence of love. One of the things one of my own spiritual teachers, Gabrielle Bernstein, has taught me is that we can always choose again. If you find yourself in fear, say to yourself, “I can choose again”. And choose love. Be gentle with yourself.

Always choose love. May you be surrounded by people you love who love you. And if that’s not the case for you, know that I am sending much love to all who need love. Lots of other people are sending love to you also. Just open yourself to receive.

If you find yourself triggered and engaging in a negative conversation or thinking pattern, be gentle with yourself and the other person. Take a little break. Make a cup of tea or go for coffee. Go take a break in the bathroom where hopefully you’ll be alone and can take some deep breaths. Go to yoga. Meditate. Find a book or magazine to read while you both cool off. But keep choosing love.

Love and light to you. Happy Holidays!!


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