Can having a tidy house really change your life and relationships?

monday blogs self-care Jul 18, 2017

Can a tidy house change your life and relationships?

You have probably heard about the book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo. It’s been out for a few years and I’ve heard about it, too. I’ve been curious about it, but most cut-the-clutter books find their way to a pile in the back of some closet in my house, so I didn’t have a serious interest in checking it out. Besides, does it matter if my house is always tidy?

I wasn’t seriously interested until I had lunch with a friend at her house. She was telling me about this book and how much it has changed her life. Upon seeing the look of disbelief I’m sure was on my face, she took me on a tour of her closet and dresser drawers. I can tell you this was the first time anyone has been excited to show me their closet…most people shut the door and try to keep people from seeing their closets. But after seeing the difference in my friend’s life and closet… I was hooked! She loaned me the book and I immediately began to implement the things Marie Kondo talks about in her book.

With my background as a spiritual teacher, a Reiki Master and a ThetaHealing® Meditation Technique practitioner, it will come to you as no surprise that I would taken with this book. You see, it is my belief that everything is energy. We are energy. We hold energy and can move energy between ourselves. The energy in a space can be affected by the contents and organization within that space.

This book and it’s author hold a similar belief… our things contain energy and that energy affects us in every area of our lives.

Not sure you buy it?

Ok, I get it. It’s a lot to take if you don’t think about energy like this. Let me try to explain.

Have you ever been able to tell someone is angry before they even speak to you or look at you? You are picking up their energy. Do you get “gut feelings”? You are tapping into the energy around that situation or person. Ever go into a house or store and for unexplained reasons you need to leave… or you really want to stay? That’s because of the energy present in that space.

Energy is all around us. I’ve been a long-time (amateur!!) practitioner of Feng Shui (pronounced “fung shway) …the art of arranging your home or office to be most auspicious in all contexts: love, career, finances, family, health, etc. This book isn’t exactly about Feng Shui. But it definitely relates!

Do the things in your home bring you joy? Do you love them? 

The powerful premise of this book is that we should only be surrounded by things that we love and bring us joy. When those things are arranged neatly and your home is tidy; you can think more clearly, make decisions more easily and relax more fully. Let that sink in for a minute.

I realize as you are looking at your sock drawer you might be thinking… “yeah, sure. This sock brings me joy. NOT!” But hold on a second before you write living in a tidy way off.

You know as well as I do that there are some really soft socks. They just feel good! They look good… no pilling, the dog hair (at least in my house) doesn’t stick to them and they feel comfortable. Then there are socks that are scratchy, , they don’t stay on right, they hurt the bottoms of your feet and you can’t seem to keep the dog hair off of those socks. It’s safe to say, the first pair of socks (soft and comfy) bring you joy while the second pair (scratchy and hairy) do not. So even something as simple as socks can make an impact!

Now lets apply this to the REST of your home.

What if you were ONLY surrounded by things that you love and bring you joy? 

Imagine it. Everywhere your eyes fall you see something that makes you feel warm and tingly, or makes you smile, or makes you think of a person or memory that brings you joy? What would that feel like? What would it be like for you to look around and not feel you have to tidy, arrange or clean because everything has it’s own place? And even more importantly… what would that be like in your life?

What would it feel like to let the past go? The person you USED to be when you got that ugly lamp at a garage sale 20 years ago? What would it feel like to open the cupboard and not see the platter you got for a $1 from a friend because you were too poor to buy a platter at the store? What would it feel like if you LOVED everything in every drawer, every cupboard, every book shelf, every closet? You would be surrounded, both literally and figuratively, with love.

My personal story

When I left my unhealthy and unhappy marriage in 2007 with only 2 suitcases, I got a quick lesson in what you really NEED to survive. The answer is: not very much.

Generous and caring people from all over the country learned about me and my daughter and began to give us things. We received everything from a dinning room table to clothing to books and even a lawnmower, washer and dryer as gifts from kind people. I’ll share the details in my upcoming book project (still looking for a literary agent…know anyone?).

As the years have passed… nearly 10 years now… I have grown and changed pretty significantly. The dresses I wore to a bachelorette party in Vegas when I was recently divorced and dating a father of two don’t reflect who I am today. The decorative trinkets I picked out at the Youth Ranch no longer jive with the me of today. Letting go of those things that represent my independence, my refuge, my generous friends, my memories, my healing…wasn’t something I was ready to do. I almost felt like it was an obligation to hang on to those things or like it was irreverent to pass them on to someone else.

Until…. this book “The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up”.

Why releasing is more cathartic than purging 

Like I mentioned, when I thought of purging, it felt disrespectful and irreverent. I felt like I wasn’t doing justice to the kind people who were generous enough to share with us. There was a belief I had to hang on to those things as sort of a due diligence.

This book helped me because it’s author Marie Kondo also believes everything is energy. She spoke in terms I understood.

Using the teaching from the book, I have thanked these wonderful household items and clothing for their service to me. I thanked them for being with me when I most needed them, for making me feel beautiful, and for reminding me people cared about me.

Releasing things. Releasing who I “used” to be or who I thought I “should” be at one time. I’m releasing the attachment to the things and accepting the loving memories of those items, people, experiences and times instead. By releasing these things, I’m helping them find new loving homes that need and desire them. As I release these things (some by selling and others by donating) I’m also helping other people find great deals.

And it’s freeing. So freeing. My house is more tidy every single day. I encourage you to give it a try!

It’s important to note I’m writing this without any affiliation or compensation from the book’s publishers or it’s author. I simply believe it could be a huge benefit to you.

All my love,



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