Speaker 1 00:00:01 Welcome to your yes filled life. I'm Brenda Winkle, energetic leadership guide, psychic, medium and somatic coach for ambitious leaders who know their gifts are real and who want to stand fully in them. Here you'll learn how to trust your intuition, embody your vision, and step into the freedom you've been creating, all without chasing more certifications or carrying stuff that does not belong to you. Every week, I'll share powerful practices and conversations with thought leaders and changemakers that help you transform your vision into embodied confidence. Claim your gifts without apology and lead with both clarity and freedom. Because your gifts aren't cute. They are powerful. They're real, and they're needed. Start today by downloading my free energy audit at Brenda Winkle for audit. It's the exact tool I use to track what's fueling me and what's draining me. It will help you discern between that hit of achievement and true joy, so that you can lead with more clarity and impact. This is your space to stop proving, start embodying and live fully in your gifts.
Speaker 1 00:01:16 Welcome to your yes filled life. Hello and welcome to your yes filled life. Now, if you're watching over on YouTube, you're going to notice that as this episode continues, I'm wearing something different than I will be. I just got back from the beach and after recording this episode a couple of days ago, I realized that there was a more direct way to say what really matters here, and I wanted to make sure this landed clearly because this topic affects so many sensitive, emotionally intelligent women. Helping Feels kind. Helping feels generous. Helping feels like connection. But sometimes helping actually disconnect you from yourself. And it can also interrupt other people with sensitive nervous systems. A lot of empathy, very sensitive people. You can actually interrupt their process. And if you're someone with deep empathy, you probably notice emotional shifts very, very quickly. You sense when someone gets uncomfortable, you notice subtle changes of their tone of voice or their facial expressions. You can feel tension in a room before anyone says a word.
Speaker 1 00:02:43 Now, because you care deeply, you naturally want to make things easier for people. And as humans, we also like to share our experiences. And when you combine the empathy with being human and wanting to share your experiences and wanting to prevent suffering. Sometimes you help. So when that happens, it might be that you're helping in a way that has not been asked for, and we'll talk about that. It might also be that in helping your softening what you say, you're adjusting your own timing. You're adding extra explanations. You might be trying to reduce pressure for everyone involved, and this has nothing to do with your level of certainty. It has to do with the fact that you can feel impact your choices have on other people. And that level of awareness is a powerful strength. But when helping becomes automatic and we do it without asking, we do it kind of in an unsolicited, automatic type of way that no one has asked for or invited. It can actually weaken connection and here's why. If we're also helping, the effect on people around us is we might be shutting down their empathic processes, which sometimes take more time, because if somebody has a lot of empathy, they're busy teasing out what's mine, what belongs to other people.
Speaker 1 00:04:24 And then the other piece is, if you're helping. Sometimes it means your attention is not on you, so you might find yourself after you help replaying conversations in your mind over and over and over again, wondering if you said too much or not enough. Wondering if you should have helped more. Questioning decisions that you've already made, and in general, feeling responsible for all the emotional harmony in situations that are really, truly not yours to manage. Now, I want to assure you this doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, and helping is actually a good thing. And we'll talk more about that as the episode goes. But this does mean that your empathy is working overtime without enough internal boundaries to support it. And this is something I see in again and again and again with my clients, both in my groups and in my one on ones. These are women who are thoughtful, intelligent, very perceptive, very perceptive, often really successful. And these are the people that rely or that other people rely on for their steadiness.
Speaker 1 00:05:42 So my clients, probably you too, are the people that are the temperature keepers in the room. You're the one that sort of holds it all together. You're the one people rely on to to really keep the peace. And when this happens and there's all this external outgo of you managing rooms and relationships and temperatures and dynamics, sometimes internally, your own decisions start to feel more complex because your attention isn't on them. Your attention is outward, not inward on your own decisions, on the own choices, on your own life. And it's not only that you're not thinking about what you want. It's that you're sensing everything from everyone. So you're sensing how things might affect other people, what might change in relationships, whether or not someone might feel disappointed, when tensions might increase, when expectations might shift. And all of this happens in fractions of a second. There is a body of research that talks about this specific type of empathy, and that talks about the ability of the people with these empathic traits to read facial expressions at its nanoseconds.
Speaker 1 00:07:12 You can shift or you can see a shift. You can see a change. And the closer you are to someone, the faster you can see that change. And that body of research started with Elaine Aron. There is newer research. Her her research is really responsible for all we know about empathy and highly sensitive people. as far as the 1990s on through about 2022 and then some new researchers begin to take over. But Aron Elaine Aron is still involved in that. And the new research reveals that there's only about 30% of the population that is highly sensitive, which is, by the way, higher than her original study went. Her original study said it was only about 20%, but now we think it's 30% of the people are highly sensitive. But of that 30%, only 10%. And this is likely you 10% of that 30%. So math people out there help me out. What is that number? So 10% of the 30% have these empathic traits where you have a different set of neuro receptors and neurotransmitters.
Speaker 1 00:08:18 I shouldn't say different. I should say additional. So you're reading tone, you're reading facial expression, and you're feeling and sensing things in your own body. And today we're talking about why helping isn't always helpful. Because of all of this science. We know the impact this has on you, but it also has an impact on other people with these sensitivities. And specifically, we're going to talk about the difference between caring about someone and feeling responsible for someone, because those two experiences are going to feel very different in your body. Caring. Feels open. Expansive. Responsibility. Feels heavy. It feels like something you need to do or manage. And you might begin noticing that if your responsibility becomes automatic, like your auto helping your auto taking responsibility, no one's asked you to. You might begin to adjust yourself in ways that are invisible in the moment, but very noticeable after the moment. You might leave a conversation thinking, well, that wasn't what I meant to say. Or well, I knew what I wanted.
Speaker 1 00:09:32 Why didn't I just say it? Or why does this feel more complicated than it should? And one of the patterns I see with these highly perceptive women is that helping becomes the way connection happens. So helping can feel like love or a contribution or belonging. Because for so many of us, with deep empathy and compassion, we can kind of predict what other people need. And so oftentimes we are the helpers. And helping also quietly becomes something else. It becomes a way of managing emotional discomfort for yourself and for other people. It becomes a way of preventing tension that might be necessary to work things out, or for someone to figure something out. And it becomes a way of maintaining harmony. But the harmony isn't always harmonious if we haven't addressed what's lying beneath it. And sometimes we're doing this even when the harmony that you're trying to create requires you to move away from yourself. And over time, that's exhausting. And it's not because empathy is a problem. We need empathy. And I want you to maintain your empathy.
Speaker 1 00:10:46 But empathy without internal boundaries and energetic boundaries can make everything feel heavier and harder than it needs to. So in this episode, we're going to explore why advice giving can actually interrupt clarity. Why empathic women often feel responsible for emotional outcomes, while helping can sometimes weaken self trust for yourself, and can also damage relationships and how internal boundaries make empathy easier to live with. You don't have to stop caring, and I'm not going to ever ask you to, but you might need to stop carrying everything for everyone else. And when that shift happens, decisions start to feel clearer. Conversations feel less loaded, and you're going to feel a lot more like yourself again. Let's talk about why. So recently, during a live session, I interrupted advice giving in real time. And I want to talk about why. Because for many empathic women, helping feels natural. It feels kind. It can feel supportive. It often feels like connection. And a lot of times this is what we tell ourselves I'm doing to be valuable.
Speaker 1 00:12:03 I'm helping. And so when helping is paused, it can feel very uncomfortable, even if nothing has actually gone wrong. So many empathic women are very attuned to what other people might need. Again, we want to recognize that if you have high levels of empathy when someone else is in discomfort, that is uncomfortable for you. So of course you want to help. We want to normalize that. And you also, you're noticing shifts in facial expression. You're noticing changes in tone of voice or inflection. You can feel tension build in a room. You can feel it really quickly sometimes before it's even visible to other people. You often sense what might make things just a little bit easier, and so helping discharge moments like that has become an important part of how connection has worked and felt in your life. People appreciate you, they rely on you, they trust you, and over time, helping can quietly become automatic. And I want to highlight there's an important difference between caring about someone, caring that they are in discomfort, and feeling responsible for someone else's process.
Speaker 1 00:13:31 Those are two very different things. You can care about what's happening for somebody without making yourself responsible, and also without taking it upon yourself to help. And there's multiple reasons for that, and we're going to get into that. But one of the things that can happen is advice can interrupt someone's ability to hear themselves. So in my communities, we are communities of empathy. I mean empathetic women and men. There are some men that I work with, and because we all know that we have this deep level of empathy, it's very easy to be inadvertently influenced by each other. And so one of my community agreements is we don't advice give. We say things like, there's so much love for that, or I have experienced something similar. We say things like that, but we are very, very careful not to advice give because knowing how empathic we all are, it can interrupt our ability to hear, sense, feel what's true for each of us, even when the advice is thoughtful, kind and well-meaning.
Speaker 1 00:14:42 Even when the intention is good, even though the intention is good, it doesn't minimize the impact that helping when it hasn't been asked for can make. And there's another piece of this, too. Sometimes when we're helping, it's so that we don't have to look inward at the things that we might have an opportunity to shift or change. And in the people that I work with, everyone is a helper in some way. They're in caring professions. They're in helping professions. I'm sure that's you, too. So whether you're an educator or a veterinarian or a physician or an artist who's helping people express or a writer or a stay at home parent, you're helping. And so it's natural for us to want to come together and help each other. And if we're not really intentional about it. We can help when, number one, we don't have capacity to help. Number two, we are helping at the expense of our own processes, because now we're thinking about somebody else's life and somebody else's issues and somebody else's thing.
Speaker 1 00:15:57 Instead of turning our attention inward to realize, where do I have an opportunity to learn from this experience? So here's what happened during the session. There was somebody who began to speak to another participant, and I read it as offering advice, and I paused the moment. Not because helping is wrong. Helping isn't wrong, but because the purpose of the work that I do is helping people develop self trust and strengthen self trust. And when someone comes in with advice very quickly. Attention shifts outward, meaning if person A is the one who has asked a question of me or of the container, and then person B comes in to give advice, it can be very, very disruptive to person A, they might forget where they are. They might forget what they were feeling. Because remember everybody there is an empath. Or maybe they don't identify as an empath, maybe they identify as having deep empathy. So when that advice comes quickly and attention shifts outward instead of staying inward in a community like this, where you're where people are coming in to do this work in strengthening self trust, instead of asking what feels true for me, the focus can quickly shift into what should I do? And asking for advice, asking for other people to weigh in with their opinions.
Speaker 1 00:17:30 And that shift seems really small, but it's not over time. That shift. Moving from what feels true to me to what should I do? Weakens self trust because you'll begin to make decisions by committee. So that's the problem when advice giving comes toward you. But what if you're the advice giver? If you're the advice giver, a lot of times you're not being a good listener. I'm just going to say it. You're not being a good listener because you're so ready to come in with a solution. You don't even know if they want a solution or if they want an opportunity to process. So many of us that identify as deep empathy are space holding for people in our lives our kids, our siblings, our parents, our partners, our friends. And so many times when we finally work up the courage to say something, I needed a drink here. I'm drinking this Waterloo raspberry nectarine is delightful. And I'm not pausing the recording because I'm just not. I'm just keeping it really raw and real, and I'm going to take another drink.
Speaker 1 00:18:47 Because when we. Oh, that's my train of thought. So many times it takes somebody with deep empathy and compassion, a tremendous amount of courage to actually say what it is that they are working through or working on or needing support around. And when somebody comes in to auto advice, give like it's not even a thought. It's just boom, giving advice. It shuts down the person who just finally worked up the courage to share And if your auto advice giving and by auto advice giving I mean like you're not asking would you like to hear some feedback? Would you like an idea? Is it okay if I share? You're not asking anything like that. You're just diving in with the advice. You're not cueing into what is actually needed in the moment. Do they want advice? Are they asking for ideas or are they asking for solutions? Or do they just want someone to hold space for them? Because as an empathic person, you know how much space you're holding for people all the time, right? You're holding space for your family, your friends, your neighbors.
Speaker 1 00:20:18 You're holding space for your kids or your kids friends. And so you know what it's like to be a space holder and then to have a little bit of space finally carved out for you, and somebody comes in with that advice. It is like a slap in the face. And a lot of times, those that are deeply empathic are the ones who are shutting down other deeply empathic people by jumping in with the solution and jumping in with the advice. And so we are so used to offering our perspectives and perceptions because people need them in the rest of our lives. That when you're an empathic person, you're already very, very aware of other people's perspectives and perceptions. And many empathic women are also used to connection happening through helping. It's how you've formed and built relationships. For a lot of your life. You've been of service. You've been of help. So it makes sense that when someone interrupts you As you're helping. It feels unfamiliar. It feels abrasive. It feels really jarring. Might even feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 00:21:40 It doesn't mean anything has gone wrong here. What it does mean often, is something new is happening. Something new is beginning to emerge. And when you move from helping to actually listening for other people and allowing them to get to the point where they ask you for something specific, your relationships are going to deepen and improve. Because when you give people the space and time to get to the thing that they're actually trying to ask you to do, and then you deliver with your helpfulness, oh my gosh, it's like chef's kiss. Good. It feels so nourishing because then you can come in with your deeply empathic help because you're already reading the room. You're already sensing the things. And so when you wait for there to actually be a question, you've filled a need. But if you feel the need before there's actually a question. It's very much like being sold to in your DMs, which I don't know if that happens to you, but it happens to me a lot of the time. I mean, I can't tell you it dozens and dozens of times per week.
Speaker 1 00:22:53 I have emails and things in my DMs with people trying to sell me things, and it's very invasive. And when we are helping and I'm using air quotes, when we're helping people and we're jumping in before they have asked anything from us, they've asked us a question. They've asked us for our perception, and they've asked us for what our thoughts are. They've asked us for possible ideas on solutions when we're jumping in to do that. It's the same type of abrasiveness, and I know how difficult this is to hear. Because when I was working with Teri Cole in her Boundary Boss course, which is fabulous, highly recommend. And I was getting coaching from her in her in her container. And then I met her later in person at a retreat and had an opportunity to ask her some questions. One of the things I realized from that process in working with Terry Cole was that a lot of times, those of us who say we want to work on our boundaries, we might say it like, oh, I need, I know I need to set boundaries.
Speaker 1 00:24:03 Or we might say things like, yeah, I probably need to, you know, be firmer with people. One of the things we don't realize is if we are allowing people to violate boundaries we wish we could set. Chances are good that we're violating other people's boundaries without even knowing it. And I know that that feels confronting. But it is. It is the way it is. Now, I want to tell you a personal story. This feels kind of vulnerable, but I think it's important. Here's me sipping on my Waterloo again. so there was a time when I would not have been able to interrupt that moment in my masterclass. So let's say if somebody came in to auto advice give or to offer help or to offer perspective. I, I probably wouldn't have stopped it. I wouldn't have been able to stop it. I wouldn't have known how to stop it. And I would have let the person who came in say whatever they wanted to say in however long they wanted to say it. Because we've been taught, or at least I was taught.
Speaker 1 00:25:15 Maybe you can resonate with this. Like we need to be nice, we don't interrupt people and we need to be kind. And a lot of times that means even when somebody is actually violating, one of our boundaries will revert back to the good girl and we'll be the good girl. So we don't interrupt. But in the meantime, somebody is taking the train all the way off the tracks. And this was definitely my story, even when I was responsible for the outcome, even when people had paid to be a part of my container, it was really difficult for me to not let people run away with the entire conversation, even when I could clearly see the dynamics unfolding that were not helpful. I didn't interrupt because I didn't want that person to feel uncomfortable. I didn't want to seem controlling. I didn't want there to be felt like, oh, there's a hierarchy here now, or she thinks she's better than us, or I'm worried about it, or I don't want to interrupt the flow. And I definitely didn't want anyone to feel bad or to feel judged.
Speaker 1 00:26:22 And so I stayed quiet, and I honestly thought that allowing everything to unfold was the best choice. And it wasn't until another client was talking to me about this person who was continuing to really take over the whole conversation, that I realized I am not helping. I'm not helping the person who's coming in with the the helpfulness, because she's not learning anything about the group dynamics or reasons why certain relationships in her life are are the way that they are. And I'm actually hurting my own group, and I'm hurting their trust in me by allowing this to happen. And so once I really realized that, I decided that I had a choice, That. Avoiding interruption. Being the good girl. Being the nice girl. Being the kind one was not actually creating safety. And so I made a choice in that moment that I was okay being the villain in somebody else's story. If I needed to be to protect my own boundaries, to protect my own groups, to protect my own containers, to protect my energy.
Speaker 1 00:27:42 Sometimes if we don't speak up, it reinforces patterns that keep everyone stuck. And so it's really important to think about how we are showing up in our relationships and our friendships, in our lives, in our careers. Because here's the thing how you do anything is how you do everything. So if you're having an issue in one area of your life where you're jumping in to help everybody all the time and people are pushing against it in one way or another, or maybe they're not outwardly pushing it against pushing it against it. Or how do I say that? Pushing against it. But you can feel that there's like, resistance to you. You're not being invited to things. You aren't being trusted with things. If you notice that you're not being given an opportunity to ever be asked to help or support, it's probably because of this. Because I know if you're listening to this podcast, you're very intelligent. You like to be really good at whatever it is that you're doing, and you have a great deal of conscientiousness about wanting to do things the right way.
Speaker 1 00:28:56 And so if you're jumping in to help where no one has asked for help, it is it's damaging things. So many empathic women can feel what's happening in the room really quickly. Sometimes before you even get into the room, you can sense when something feels off, you can sense when something is not actually helping. and so interrupting that can feel really risky. Interrupting can feel like creating tension. Being misunderstood. Hurting someone's feelings. Being perceived as too much. And so a lot of times we stay quiet longer than we want to. Even when something is inside us is saying this isn't helping. So this is this is two ways. Two things we're talking about here. One is when we're the ones that are jumping in to help, we want to pull back on that and wait until we're asked. But the other piece of this is it's the flip side of this is when we're not able to interrupt someone who is, quote unquote, helping us. And this comes up for those of us that are high achievers and highly empathic.
Speaker 1 00:30:08 So I have multiple versions of this story, including my own where as highly successful women in the workforce, we've had opportunities to hire teams or to hire contractors or to hire vendors. And I can't tell you the number of times that I hear from clients about. And I also had this experience, my the person that I've hired, my team member is not performing, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. I don't want to tell her she's not performing. And so you're paying someone who's not performing. It is literally costing you. It's costing you money, it's costing you business, it's costing you bandwidth. And I see this again and again and again, and I have lived through it. I remember a time that I hired someone to run my sales calls, and I no longer have anybody running sales call, and we had something happening with Calendly. When I hired her, she assured me she would figure it out, but. So I hired her. And then I upgraded my calendly to include more team members.
Speaker 1 00:31:25 Got that going, and she would not update her Google calendar to include Calendly. She would not work out the kinks in interfacing, and she needed me to handhold her through everything and we kept trying to work on it. We would meet twice a week, twice a week. We were meeting on this and I got to the end of a launch period, and she was with me through the launch, and she was to put her calendly link in the chat of the masterclass that I was hosting and to book a sales call, and I no longer used that process, but that's what I was doing at the time. And she put the link in, But it was broken. It didn't go anywhere and no one could book. And because that was the link that they got. And that was like the momentum that we had built. I had a $0 lunch. $0. No clients came in from that lunch. Now, I tried to rectify it later by sending out my own, actually. Wait, that was later.
Speaker 1 00:32:40 So we kept trying. All the emails were generated that had her non-working calendly link in it. No one booked a call because no one could book a call. And I'm still like, I don't want to hurt her feelings. I don't want to make her feel bad. In the meantime, I'm internally like, what the fuck is happening right now? Are you kidding me? You can't get this this calendar thing going. And in the meantime, I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm I'm I'm at the end of a launch and the mechanism that I had to bring in clients who's not working. And so I have this internal, internal stress of I don't want to hurt her feelings. Oh my gosh, my launch is tanking right now. And I let the launch tank. I let the launch tank because I didn't want to make her feel bad. And then it was almost like the last day of the kart open, and I sent out an email with my own calendly link in it, and I had a conversation with the the person I had hired, and I was like, look, this is just it's not happening.
Speaker 1 00:33:50 Like, you are not doing the the one thing I hired you to do. And she said, yeah, this isn't working and turned it on me and was angry at me. Saying I expected too much of her and I was working her too hard, and if I would have had that conversation with her on day one of the failed link. By the way, this is like a three week lunch. So this was over like almost 21 days. I was having like internal angst and I'm not proud of this. Like this was a massive failure in my part. It was a leadership failure. I should have handled this differently from the beginning. This was an execution failure. I should have immediately sent out my own calendly link and fired her. I should have apologized to everybody on the spot as soon as we realized her calendly link didn't work in the in the masterclass and you know no better do better I I know better, do better now, I'll tell you that for sure. But because I was more concerned about this woman's feelings, I didn't do the right thing for myself, my business or my clients.
Speaker 1 00:35:00 Because the truth is, a $0 launch meant no one got the help that I was offering. So when I say I get this on all the levels, I really do get this on all the levels. When someone is exploring something meaningful. Your nervous system is already processing. Your clarity is already forming, and if you're not tending to your nervous system through these processes, no matter how much you intellectualize, I need to set a boundary. I need to fire this person, I need to blah blah blah. I need to stop helping, I need to. Whatever. If you don't tend to your nervous system and make it feel safe in your body to do those things, you cannot do those things. And that makes the auto advice giving even thoughtful advice really problematic. Because if we're doing all of this work as people with deep empathy and compassion and we are And we're also tending to our own nervous systems, which we have to, because that's part of the part of the process. And if we have advice coming in, or were the perpetrators that are bringing the advice in instead of thinking what feels true for me, what do I actually think? What do I want? Attention shifts to oh, what should I do? What would make this easier for everyone? And many empathic women already consider multiple perspectives very, very quickly.
Speaker 1 00:36:40 And so adding more input can make clarity so much harder to access. When I say nervous system work, I'm talking about breathwork or somatic movement or tapping or anything that we're doing to really tend to those moments where we feel fearful or stressed or activated or angry or upset. When we acknowledge those and we process through them using nervous system somatic tools, then all of a sudden we can get to a more neutral place. And that's what I'm talking about with that nervous system work that we do inside the power program and that we do inside of all of my programs. We did it in the master class, too, in the in the actual live event that this happened, we did this and it was so interesting because things that people said were I feel lighter, I feel like I can hear myself, I feel like I can connect with myself. I feel less stressed. It was absolutely amazing. So I want to make an important distinction here. Helping is not the problem. Helping is good. I don't want to change your helpful nature.
Speaker 1 00:37:53 Your helpful nature is a really important part of who you are. Automatic helping. That's where things get complicated. When helping is automatic and you don't have any inquiry around. If it's welcome. Then you might begin adjusting quickly, anticipating needs, trying to reduce tension that you didn't cause or have nothing to do with, and taking responsibility for emotional comfort without even realizing it. And over time, this is exhausting. It is exhausting for you. And here's the hardest part. And we talked a little bit about this, but it's exhausting for other people to structure can actually create more safety. Clear guidelines reduce pressure, and they remove the feeling that you have to respond perfectly or right away or too quickly. And they also remove the feeling that you have to take care of everything, and they allow space for people to hear themselves. So one of the things that I would like you to think about, if you're the one who needs to interrupt someone who is needing to be interrupted for whatever reason. Maybe they're helping you.
Speaker 1 00:39:08 Maybe they're interfering with something that you want to do. I want you to imagine two kids, let's say they're preschoolers, like three years old, and one of them is about ready to hit the other one with a toy block. Most of us would not think two seconds about interrupting. We would go over to the kids. We would probably take the block. We would interrupt the behavior. We we don't do that because we think that the child intending to hit is bad. We don't do that because we want to shame them. That's not it at all. And we don't do that because we want to control them either. We interrupt because we can see what's about to happen. We can understand the impact Of what's going to happen. And as an empathic person, you can see the impact for days, right? You can see it rolling out not just today, but in a week and in a month and in a year. And in doing so, in interrupting this, we're actually creating safety. Interruption is not punishment.
Speaker 1 00:40:23 If you need to interrupt somebody from helping or in a process that's not working. Interrupting can be care not only for you and for your people, but for them. Many empathic women hesitate to interrupt certain dynamics. We worry about hurting people's feelings, making people sad, being understood, being the villain, seeming unkind, creating discomfort, or being perceived as difficult. So we allow things to go on longer than we should and longer than we definitely want to, even when something inside us knows this is not actually helpful or helping, self trust grows when we allow ourselves to notice those moments and to respond with clarity, not urgency. Power focuses on internal boundaries first, so that helping becomes a choice, not an automatic reflex. And care becomes lighter, not heavier. And you'll also learn how to kindly interrupt without feeling bad, where you start to feel a little bit more comfortable in being the villain in somebody else's story. Because the truth is, sometimes when we're the ones that disrupt behavior, we do become the villain in somebody else's story.
Speaker 1 00:41:48 And I'm I'm solidly in that villain area right now. Like, I am very comfortable being the villain in somebody else's story. If it means that I get to prioritize what I believe is right for me and for my people, I'm okay being the villain. I kind of like it. And I'll teach you how to get to that place, to inside power so that you can care deeply and connection can become mutual. And you can do this all without feeling like you're responsible for everything. Can you imagine what that's like? If you could stop being responsible for everyone in the room, for every interaction, for every emotion, and you could stop worrying. Is everyone okay? Is everyone feeling okay? You can stop temperature taking the room. Can you imagine what that's like? I can. It's good. It's good. It's freedom. It frees up bandwidth. It gives you the presence of mind to do the things that are best for you, which then allows you to create situations and circumstances that are best for the people in your life.
Speaker 1 00:42:54 If you recognize yourself in this. If helping feels automatic or it feels impossible to interrupt when somebody else is is helping and you don't want them to help, or the help isn't actually helping. If you feel responsible for making things easier for everyone. Power explores this pattern in a grounded, practical way so that empathy becomes easier to live with. In fact, it becomes your superpower. Clarity becomes easier to trust, and enrollment is open in power. Self trust for empathic women. Now through April 20th, we begin our first call on April 21st. And I'm going to put the link in the show notes. Or you can go check out Brenda winkle.com/power if this feels aligned. There is there is a cap at how many people I'm going to take inside this program. The cap is 24 and there are not 24 spots left anymore. So if this feels like it is aligned for you, invitation to go check it out at Brandon Winkle. You don't have to stop caring to stop carrying everything for everyone. And support doesn't require solving.
Speaker 1 00:44:09 I promise. And you know what else? When you learned to pull back from over helping. You're going to learn how to give people the dignity of their own experience. And there is something really profound about that. You're going to watch things begin to shift and change in their lives, too, when they have the dignity of their own experience, and you don't have to feel responsible of it. Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, would you please give it a rating and review wherever you're listening? And if you haven't left an Apple Podcast review and a while if you could do that, it is really incredibly helpful to do. We are still in the top 5% globally of all podcasts, and I'm so grateful to you for listening, because it's literally because of you, because of listeners and supporters. And so I'm just incredibly grateful. And by the time this episode goes live, we will have crossed the 30,000 download mark. Now, 30,000 downloads is kind of a lot, 30,000 downloads, like, whoa, it's mind blowing.
Speaker 1 00:45:22 And at the same time, it's not that many for a podcast with this many episodes. So if you could please share this with three people that you care about. It would mean so much because I know that as somebody with deep empathy and compassion, you have people in your life that are like you and maybe they could benefit from this too. Thanks so much for being here. Bye for now. Until next time.
