Brenda 00:00:00 Welcome to your yes filled life. I'm Brenda Winkle, an intuitive leadership coach and somatic guide for high performers, high achievers who want more freedom, ease, joy and energy. You are a visionary, leader driven, intuitive and ready for more more flow in your work, more presence and joy in your life and relationships. More trust in yourself and the decisions you make every day. Here we explore the intersection of intuition, leadership, and energetic sovereignty, blending practical strategy with energetic alignment so you can create success that feels deeply fulfilling at work, at home, in your relationships, and in your own well-being, you'll hear inspiring stories, practical strategies, and high level conversations designed to help you integrate the woo into your daily life. Because when your energy is aligned, everything flows ready to elevate how you lead and live. Start by downloading my free Energy Audit at. Audit and discover what's fueling or depleting you. Let's do this. Your yes filled life starts now. Hello and welcome to your. Yes filled life.
Brenda 00:01:19 I'm your host, Brenda Winkle. Today on the podcast, we're going to be talking with Mary Clavier. I can't wait for this conversation. It is a really, really impactful one. Mary, among other things, is an expert in human design. So we're going to go deep into all of that. Also, please remember that enrollment is still open for the Energetic Sovereignty Self-healing certification, where you're going to learn a unique, one of a kind combination of Reiki and breathwork and meditation so that you can create the energetic sovereignty for yourself, to support yourself in the process of being a deeply compassionate and empathic leader, someone with ambitions and deep intuition who's ready to stop taking on so much from other people and have more control of your own healing so that you can be resourced anytime, anywhere. To learn more about that, go to Brendan Winkle. Com forward slash self-healing and I can't wait to see you inside. Enrollment ends July 4th and we begin July 9th. Our calls are on Wednesdays. Some of them are during the workday in US time, and some of them are after work in US time, but everything is recorded.
Brenda 00:02:43 This is a game changer. It is a one of a kind modality and I can't wait to show you more. All right, let's dive into this conversation with the incredible Mary Clavier. Clever. Hi, Mary.
Mary 00:02:58 Hi, Brenda. Thank you so much for having me.
Brenda 00:03:00 Oh, thank you for being here. I'm so excited for our conversation. And I want to kick it off with a question, which is, what is one thing that has led to your, yes, field life. Either something you did do or something you did not do.
Mary 00:03:18 I would say the practice of becoming more of myself.
Brenda 00:03:26 I love that. What has that meant for you becoming more of yourself.
Mary 00:03:31 It's meant a lot of self-exploration for sure. It's meant a lot of trusting myself and really paying attention to what I want and what I need for myself. Not in a selfish like, not in a super selfish way, but in a really solid, grounded way of, hey, what is it that I need? What is it that I want and how can I bring more of that into my life?
Brenda 00:03:58 I love that, and, you know, you raise an interesting point, which is there can be this idea that meeting our own needs is selfish.
Brenda 00:04:08 And my belief and I've said this before on the podcast and I'll say it again, is meeting our own needs is not selfish because it increases our capacity to serve not only the people that we serve in our careers, but also our loved ones. How do you feel about that?
Mary 00:04:25 Yes, 1,000%. It's impacted not only my work and all of that, but also my family. Also my family. I'm a I'm a better mom. I'm a stronger mom. I have a more loving and patient presence in my household. All of the things when I take care of myself first, and my family knows now because I, I love to do things like go on walks in nature by myself. I do it pretty much daily and my family knows now I have to go for my walk. It's just something my body needs. My brain needs it. And I go and I come back so much better than when I left.
Brenda 00:05:06 I love that I remember, so my daughter's 23. She's out of the house.
Brenda 00:05:10 She moved out a few years ago, and, I remember when she was still living at home, she would look at me and she'd kind of cock her head a little bit, and she'd be like, do you think it's time to go to yoga? Yeah.
Mary 00:05:25 Yeah, yeah, that means it's time.
Brenda 00:05:27 That means it's time. Absolutely. I love it. So for the listener who has not yet met you, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and the work that you do in the world?
Mary 00:05:37 Sure. Yeah. So, Mary Clavier, I'm a transformation coach. I really support people through change, all different kinds of change. It's been my life's work that along with the mind body connection. So there's a lot in there around what makes us tick. How do we make sustainable, lasting change for ourselves and supporting people through that process? So I know you and I talked before. I have a background in engineering and it's kind of been interwoven into all of this mind body side of things and really bringing it all together to help people have a change that's most meaningful for them.
Mary 00:06:19 Because really, what works for one person might not necessarily work for another. So my whole thing is you find what works for you, you experiment, you take what resonates, you leave the rest, and you create the life you really want to live.
Brenda 00:06:32 I love this and you know, change is so interesting because it's something that in many ways we want and it's also something that I see people resist. Do you find that to be true in your work as well?
Mary 00:06:45 Yes, definitely. And it's hard. It can feel really hard because if we really want something to change in our lives, we have to be willing to do something differently and change something. And some of those habits and beliefs that we may have can run really deep. They can run really deep, and it can be really confronting to try to to do something different. It's one thing to claim, okay, I want to do something differently, but then to actually follow through with that, take the action to follow through with that and to be able to see different results.
Mary 00:07:20 It can be really challenging. It can have setbacks. It can. It can just be difficult for people. Sometimes they think that they can't do it or they don't deserve it or what will other people think? And all of those things are just ways that also hold them back and don't allow them to change and and thrive in a way they really want to.
Brenda 00:07:40 Yeah, I see that too. And I feel that like on a personal level, I feel that I was recently doing some some auditing work inside my business. Not not necessarily numeric, although numbers played into it, but it was really like what's working and how is it showing up? And it was very confronting because what I had been telling myself was moving the needle was not, in fact, moving the needle at all. And so I had to get clear that, oh, I'm sort of wasting energy, time and bandwidth on this thing. That's kind of fun. But it's not benefiting me. It's not benefiting benefiting my clients. It's not benefiting the business and the feelings that that brought up.
Brenda 00:08:23 I was really glad I had tools to work through because there was a little bit of disappointment. There was shame, there was a little bit of overwhelm, like, okay, well, now what? And then fear about moving forward. So when somebody starts to do this deep transformational work, what are some things that they can put into place that can support them through those types of emotions as they get clear on, oh, here's what I have been doing and here's why it's not been working.
Mary 00:08:52 Yeah, it's so important. It's so important to have tools in the toolkit. So I love this question. I say it all starts with the self of course. And when you're on this discovery of trying to see, okay, what's working, what's not working, what's coming up, what are the stories I'm telling myself? There's a bunch of different things you can do and depending on the person, right. There's things that I usually say you can have that are a little more, let's say physical and practical in terms of you can have a list of affirmations.
Mary 00:09:24 You can have, phrases that you tell yourself mantras to when you catch yourself in the moment saying something negative. This is this is what I do a lot. If I catch myself saying something negative and I'm repeating a pattern, I tell myself, hey Mary, This is a pattern, you know. Watch out for what's happening here. And you know you're overthinking again. Don't allow yourself to overthink. Stay in the higher vibration, the higher mindset of what's going on. So there's things that you can do like that that are kind of quick in the moment. Or hey, I need a refresher. Let me let me read my affirmations that really make me feel great. Right? Then there's also exercises. I really like exercises because they shift your energy in different ways. So this could be, again, whatever works for you. It could be things like going for a walk, getting some sunshine, some fresh air. I think it's the most underutilized, underestimated thing that we have access to, really, to be honest, is to just go outside and get fresh air and and take in some sun.
Mary 00:10:33 Along with that, I like practices around body tapping. So not necessarily EFT tapping, although that's great too. But body tapping is is a different type of yeah, let's say body work where you actually tap at your midsection. I have a I send people a YouTube link from someone else that, that shares more of like what it looks like and everything, but you really rhythmically tap or you can tap at all different places in your body and just kind of say, oh, I feel tension. I feel tight here. Let me kind of just tap and release that. I think there's so much with the with the mind body connection and how we actually feel in our bodies that people don't pay attention to. So things that help to release that or going to an exercise class for sure. Any type of movement in that way and also journaling. Those are some of my really go tos for me personally, and that that work pretty well for most of my clients. But anything that's going to work to get you to shift in the moment to just change something with your energy and your mood in the moment.
Mary 00:11:42 If it works, that's amazing.
Brenda 00:11:44 I love this and I want to pull a thread on something. You mentioned that you also use these practices, and I think that there's sometimes this myth that people who are beginning this work or they're midway like they're they are believers in the work, but they still feel a tiny bit self-conscious because they don't know if the people who are looking like they're regulated, looking like they're managing their stress and anxiety, they may not understand that that we all have practices that are supporting us through our life's journeys. And so let me paint a picture for you and see if you can see yourself in this picture. You are a well-educated professional who's been in your field for a very long time. You're well respected. You have built community. You've built a reputation, and you also have this dream on your heart. Maybe it's to start a coaching business. Maybe it's to let people know that you want to do more photography for other people. Maybe it's that you want to start a sound healing business, but you find that you can't talk about it with people.
Brenda 00:12:52 And even though you might have some of the business set up, you have, like the business actually registered with the state, you have a website, you might even have a little bit of a social media presence, but you're not talking about it to people because you're worried about what they'll think. You're worried if you'll jeopardize your reputation as the professional that you are. If you admit that you have this dream on your heart, that's what the Yes to me journey is all about. It's getting the courage to be visible, to claim and say out loud what it is that you really want. Over four days together in July will meet for an hour each day, and I'll guide you through breathwork, through ceremony, through transformation. Lead you into a community of like minded seekers, intuitive and ambitious women just like you. Who are ready to do something different. You're the one who can feel someone shift in their energy before they've even spoken a word. You're the one who notices the unspoken tension in a room.
Brenda 00:14:01 You're the one who holds the container for everyone else's emotions, and you're not afraid to speak up. But the swirl of feelings and intuition. Sometimes you forget to anchor back into yourself, and you even forget what's real or true or important to you. Because you've learned to be the caretaker, the high performer, and the steady hand that everyone else can rely on. And sometimes that means ignoring your own needs, like holding your bladder because you don't want to inconvenience anyone else? If that sounds like you, the yes to me journey is right for you. This is the chance to experience a reconnection, a release, and rising. This journey is for ambitious, intuitive women leaders, change makers, sensitive souls who are done with self abandonment and ready to come home to themselves. Learn more by going to Brenda Winkel. Com forward slash. Yes to me. That's why e s t o m e all lowercase. All one word. Brenda winkle.com. Forward slash. Yes. To me. We'll be live for an hour each day July 14th through 17, looking like they're managing their stress and anxiety.
Brenda 00:15:16 They may not understand that that we all have practices that are supporting us through our life's journeys. And so I love that you highlighted that because, you know, it's like it. This is a silly example, but it's one that really struck me. I remember the first time that I witnessed someone cleaning a window inside of a huge office building, and I had always marveled at how beautiful and clean the windows were, and I thought that they must know something that I didn't know about, like how to keep windows clean. And then what I realized is, oh, the thing that is happening is they're cleaning the windows. It's like an ongoing process. They're always cleaning the windows. And so the same thing is true for, for for all of us. We're we're either supporting ourselves to manage our emotions, to manage our stress, to manage our other types of things that happen in our lives or we're not.
Mary 00:16:16 Yes. And anyone that is not open with you about that for any listeners, I would just say think long and hard before you work with them more because you need people that are.
Mary 00:16:29 I mean, I think we learn best if if we see and are modeled from other people ways that and learning and understanding what they're also going through. And it doesn't mean you have to give them every detail of your life. But it's important to feel that, that people are. For me at least, it's very important that I use some of these same practices. I would never tell people to use something that I haven't done. I just wouldn't do it. And then it's a matter of, are people willing to open up and show that they're also doing this work? Because to your point, it never goes away. There's always something to be doing. I mean, we're constantly growing and changing and evolving. Everyone is. So there's always work to be done and it's never life is never perfect. So if they're selling you a fake dream, watch out.
Brenda 00:17:23 Yes, yes, I've heard that called fantasy marketing. but yes, a fake dream. Yeah, absolutely I love that. And so as we think about like we're we're challenging the status quo by tapping on the body to release the emotions, to have the resets of the walk, the nature, the sunshine.
Brenda 00:17:45 I'm curious, and this is something I'm personally working on, so I'll just name that. I'm curious how your own emotions inform what needs to happen.
Mary 00:17:59 Okay. This is a great question. For me personally it's been a lot of experimentation. So I think about it I look at it as tools in the toolkit. There might be 50 things in there. And then in that moment talking to myself about what do I need right now? What's going to help me the most right now? And sometimes one of them comes to me and I give it a try and I say, okay, that was great. And other times I say, actually, that wasn't enough. That didn't do it. So I'll give you an example this this morning, this morning, okay. Was not a great morning and I wasn't feeling great. And I went for my walk. I said, okay, I need to get out. I went for my walk. I went for even a little bit longer walk than usual. And I got home and I said, you know what? I still don't feel great.
Mary 00:18:52 I feel a little bit of like a lingering headache. I was just achy and out of sorts, and I said, okay, then you know what? I'm going to do something else. I'm I'm not going to go sit down and do work, because that's just forcing myself and that's going to do nothing. Nothing good will come of that except exhaustion and aggravation. So I said, all right, what else can I do? What do I feel like doing in this moment? And I'll do like a, a quick body scan and just kind of feel into each part of my body and then try to feel in with that to see what do I really need right now. So then I did body tapping and that really helped me. It kind of sometimes you need to pair things together to see what, what works or not in that moment, because it's always going to be different. It's I think that's part of the hard thing about life. A lot of times we expect there to be a formula, or if I just do this every day, right, like creating habits and everything, right? Like if I just do this every day and I keep this rigid schedule, then great, it's going to work.
Mary 00:19:54 But actually we change from day to day. Our energy changes, our hormones change, all these things change. And we need to be able to understand and recognize that for ourselves and give ourselves grace and space to to adapt in that moment. So I always say, you know, if one thing didn't work, that's okay. Do something else. Don't don't force yourself to go do your work if you're still not feeling great, it's not going to help the situation.
Brenda 00:20:28 I so appreciate this. One of the things that that I witness in a lot of my own clients, my friends, my peers, and I know for certain that I am guilty of is high. Achieving your healing where we we get this big routine of, I'm going to meditate and then I'm going to do my breathwork, and then I'm going to do the journaling, and then we can end up with this 2 to 3 hour block of time that we feel beholden to. And the next thing you know, we're stressed by the thing that's supposed to reduce the stress.
Brenda 00:21:00 So I love that you highlight just being curious, what is it I need today?
Mary 00:21:07 Yeah, yeah. It's so important. And I am very much a quality over quantity person. So it's better to spend ten minutes really well on one activity or two activities, then to spend two hours and be worrying about your next thing on your list the whole time. You're not going to be refueled from that.
Brenda 00:21:31 That's right. And it's not even mindfulness if you're, if you're like high achieving the, the the right the awakening then.
Mary 00:21:40 Yeah.
00:21:42 Yeah. Exactly.
Brenda 00:21:43 Yeah. So one of the things that I noticed about you today that I so appreciated is when we first logged on our call, you were telling me that you wanted just a moment to set up a couple of things, and I was so appreciative of that. And here's why. When I meet somebody who's able to say, I need this, I trust that they have themselves meaning I know that I can have me, you have you. And then we're going to create this magic together because you're self advocating.
Brenda 00:22:16 And I'm wondering, is that something that has always come to you, or is that something you've cultivated?
Mary 00:22:24 I worked long and hard for that.
Brenda 00:22:28 Me too.
Mary 00:22:31 It's something that, I mean, I, I so thank you first for saying, then for that observation. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful reflection to kind of even see the point that I've come to. and I would say that, yeah, it's definitely something I've worked towards. I'm a recovering people pleaser. So it's over the years. The the more that I learn about myself, the stronger that I become and the more grounded I become in myself and my knowing and what I'm here to do and how I'm here to support people, the easier it gets for me to communicate some of those things, and it is really important to communicate them, because otherwise things will just be frazzled and you can feel lost, you know? And it's not to say it's definitely not perfect all the time. I tell my girls this. I so I have two daughters and I tell them all the time because I'm not positive and happy with them all the time I flip out.
Mary 00:23:29 Sometimes I get angry or frustrated in something and I've learned to practice, you know? Okay, walk away, take some breaths. You're the adult here. You can you're you know, your job is to hold the space for the child because they don't know how to regulate yet and all of those things. So I kind of take my break, I go do my thing, and I come back and I explain in a better way. And it's just been a practice. And so, yeah, it's been a practice in all parts of my life. And, and that's just one of them.
Brenda 00:24:02 What a cool modeling that you're doing for your girls. I've heard that the the repair process of coming back to something is so much more impactful than not having the repair, like some of us think. If I'm doing it right, I'll never make a mistake. But the truth is, our children learn so much more from what Deb Rubin calls the rupture and the repair.
Mary 00:24:28 Yeah, yeah. It's crucial. And I see one of my daughters, really? They both take to it in different ways.
Mary 00:24:36 But my younger one definitely needs that. You can you can see it in her face and in her body and everything. When when we go through that process, it heals a lot in her.
Brenda 00:24:48 Yeah, yeah for sure. And then it also is modeling. Here's how this happens in other relationships because you're giving them a roadmap, so to speak, of what happens when this happens in a friendship or in a working relationship or any other kind of relationship. It's so powerful.
Mary 00:25:07 Yeah.
Brenda 00:25:07 Yeah, exactly. So the people pleasing part, oh my gosh, I resonate with that. I, I have always been highly intuitive, empathic, psychic. I operate as a medium as well. And when I was, it was. It is cool. But as a kid, it freaked people out because I didn't have language to describe why or how I had this knowledge. And so I didn't have the the nuance to know a spiritual boundaries like don't tap into people without permission. And B, I didn't know how to shut it off so that I could not necessarily have somebody or something talking to me when I was walking down the hall, and I could sense and feel that the adults around me were scared.
Brenda 00:25:53 And so what I ended up doing was turning all of these spiritual gifts into people pleasing, because I knew that didn't scare them. They seemed to like that. And so I became such a patterned people pleaser that I people play pleased. You know, for the first 35 years of my life, like it was my job.
Mary 00:26:11 Yeah. Yeah. Same Zs.
Brenda 00:26:19 Yeah. And as you. As you unlearned people pleasing. I'm curious. Obviously, it takes setting boundaries. It takes saying, I want this, I don't want this. And, you know, for me, there was this big fear that, I would be told no. Which. That seems simple, but in my system, that was massive. Because if you told me no on something, then I finally had the courage to ask you for. It was devastating because it took so much work to get to that point. I could ask you for something. And so the fear of being told no was like it loomed large. And I remember one time I'd been a teacher for 20 some years, and I had suffered for most of those years, not being able to go to the bathroom.
Brenda 00:27:06 So I would, you know, start work at 8 a.m.. I would end at 12 p.m. and there's no break to even go to the bathroom. In that time, I'd have a 45 minute break to eat, go to the bathroom, and then I would do it again until, you know, three. 345. One year I just had enough and I said, I am going to use the bathroom in the middle of the morning, and I need this class to go to recess one minute early. And I need this class to come to recess one minute late. And I was ready for them to tell me no. And I was making this a really big story in my mind. Yeah. Nobody cared. People were like, oh, okay. And this story that I told myself for decades went up in smoke like, oh, I was holding myself to this suffering state and I wouldn't have to. And it was literally groundbreaking for me. And I'm just wondering, would you be willing to talk a little bit about your journey to end the people pleasing, what that might have been like, how you learned?
Mary 00:28:08 Yeah.
Mary 00:28:08 For sure. I. I'm reflecting now. I'd say the biggest piece for me. I completely get the rejection piece that will the. No. Because it's a rejection. Not only is it rejection, it's personalized rejection. Right. It feels very much like like there's something wrong with you in a way. Right? I think the biggest piece for me was. Yeah, similar in that I had to learn to use my voice. I had to learn to use my voice and feel confident in using it. And that can feel tricky. And I and I had to practice using it and taking up space in a different way and just allowing myself to be to be heard. So that's something I would say just in general for me was it was an ongoing process. even for things like this will seem like a random silly example, but I started going to a yoga class and this was a few years ago and I was new to the class. So I live in France now. I'm from the US, but I live in France, so I was going to this yoga class in French, right? And I didn't I didn't know the songs and like the mantras that they would do in the beginning and stuff.
Mary 00:29:28 And so I would just kind of, you know, fake my way through them or just, once I learned them, just say them very softly because I didn't feel strong enough in myself to say them. Or what if I say them wrong? And my yoga teacher one day at the end of class, she said, you know, Mary, this is a space where you can you can practice and you can be louder and you can use your voice. And I was like, oh, this is so strange. You know, like I hadn't thought about it that way, but like, you know, because it's yoga class. But I was like, actually, yeah, what better place to practice now. I had layers of things there. Right? Because it's in French. Maybe I didn't feel so confident, you know, all that kind of stuff. it wasn't tied to a rejection in that moment, per se. For my own personal embarrassment, I guess. but it just made me realize in a different way of.
Mary 00:30:23 Yes, take up, take up space, take up your space. And not to be. I don't mean that in a, you know, looming over everyone else, right? Ego front and center kind of thing. But take up your space. And it was such a beautiful, gentle reminder to me. And this had been after I'd been doing the work for a while. Right. So it wasn't, you know, the beginning of my journey, but it was a really I it it stays with me as something that was really powerful and that. Oh yeah, actually, I can take up space in all these different kinds of ways, right? Not just one way.
Brenda 00:31:00 Yeah. And the other thing you're pointing to here is releasing perfectionism.
Mary 00:31:05 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Brenda 00:31:09 For sure. Yeah. That's been part of my journey as well. Yeah.
Mary 00:31:14 Yeah. That's another that's another big one. It it really keeps us in our tracks.
Brenda 00:31:20 Oh it does. It's very limiting.
Brenda 00:31:22 Yeah. So I grew up in a family of musicians as a musician and I was a music educator. And in music, there's just no place for b work. Like it has to be. Perfect. Yeah. Because if it's not perfect, it's just atrocious. And so that perfectionism was really my guiding light for decades. Yeah. And I didn't realize that it had carried over into other parts of my life. I thought I was compartmentalizing it to the music. And then when I really started doing inner work, I realized, oh, no, this is this is not compartmentalize. This is something that I'm holding myself to. It's something I'm holding my relationships to. And it was really destructive. And when I first began to let go of it, I felt kind of like, I'm going to use the word sloppy. Like it felt like I wasn't doing the the quality of work. And what I've realized over time is I'm actually doing better work. Are there mistakes and errors in my copy? Yes, 100%.
Brenda 00:32:28 But the message is so much more resonant because I'm not getting stuck in the perfectionism. How has that come out for you?
Mary 00:32:38 Same. I mean, progress over perfection is a is an underlying principle for me. I, I would say, so, so, you know, because we talked before, I'm into human design. I love it as a tool. And my profile is a 35, which, if anyone's not familiar with the 35 or with Human design. Three. Five is all about experimentation. It's all about trial and error and learning by doing and getting your hands into things and being willing to disrupt and see different ways of doing it. All of the things. And part of my journey, once I learned about that years ago, I had to really practice to allow myself to experiment in different ways and really let go of because I realized even even for things like running my business, you know, worrying about a social media post and oh, this doesn't look quite right. And this has a spelling mistake and going over things ten times, it's like, what? Why am I doing that? But you don't necessarily notice it in the moment because it's a way that's helping you to stay where you are.
Mary 00:33:47 Yeah. And instead it's okay. What's the what's the bigger thing that's going to move the needle here? And how am I putting weight on my time and my activities? So it's been it. That was also a process for me in a lot of ways of allowing myself to experiment, allowing myself to, let's say, make mistakes even, because actually I learn by doing. And in those doing those lessons, then teach me for the next thing. And and allowing myself to really honor that within myself was a big deal. It still is. I still practice it for sure.
Brenda 00:34:25 Yeah, I love that. And yes, to human design. So I, I don't feel like I'm trained in human design, but I'm definitely an enthusiast and, love it. So I'm a, I'm a manifesting generator, and I believe I'm a tool for in my human design for myself. My business is also manifesting generator, but it's A35.
Mary 00:34:47 Interesting. Interesting.
Brenda 00:34:50 Yeah, yeah. What is your your human design type?
Mary 00:34:55 I'm a projector.
Mary 00:34:56 Okay, so I'm A35 projector. Yeah.
Brenda 00:34:59 Yeah. Amazing. I tend to attract a lot of projectors onto the podcast. Not 100%, but there is a lot of projectors. Yeah.
Mary 00:35:09 Well, it makes sense in a way. I think just from the perspective of guiding. Right. Projectors are here to guide in some way. So there's probably something that they're sharing that's guiding your listeners.
Brenda 00:35:21 Yes, absolutely. I love that. So how can people connect with you and tell us a little bit about the ways that they might be able to work with you?
Mary 00:35:30 Sure. So I well, I do human design reading, so I've been studying it. I found it for myself and then loved it so much that I started studying it over the years. So I do readings and I also do one on one coaching containers. I'm at mary.com. I can share all of my links and all of that, but I'd say Really the work that I do best and that I love the most, is support, is to support people through some type of change in their life, whether they're looking for a different career or having a even in some cases, a big move, international move and anything that's really there, they feel like they're in a transition that they need support with.
Mary 00:36:14 So. And I will use human design as a tool sometimes to look at that with them and to see, okay, how what kind of tweaks can you make to potentially bring yourself into more alignment? Because it's not to it's not to label and say, you have to be this or you have to do that. It's really about what tools do you have to support you to discover more of of who you are. So those are the main the main ways. And I'm well, I'm not sure when this is airing, but I also do workshops from time to time. So I'm doing a decision making workshop coming up. But all of that is on my website updated, you know, for whenever I'm hosting one.
Brenda 00:36:52 Amazing. And it's interesting to me that. That you just mentioned helping people. Become more of who they are. And that was the beginning of your journey. That was how you found your. Yes.
Mary 00:37:04 Yeah. Yeah. Exactly, exactly. Full circle. Full circle. Yeah. Yeah.
Mary 00:37:10 Yeah, exactly. It's that's a that's what I really believe I'm here to do in some way and to support people that are ready, willing and able to, to do something different with their lives. And I'm just I'm here to support that.
Brenda 00:37:24 So I love that. And, you know, with our current political climate, I can imagine that there's a lot of people who are wondering if it's time for a change, a change of location, a change of career, a change of of country. And so invitation to go check out Mary's stuff. She's got a lot of things. And, you know, you and I had talked a little bit before about what it was like to be an American in France. And I know my listeners would love to hear a little bit about that perspective. What has that been like for you?
Mary 00:37:57 Sure. Yeah. It's, it's been so interesting. So we're here about three years now. My husband is French, but he's lived in the US for a long time.
Mary 00:38:08 So, even for him, it was an adjustment to come back. It's it's been an adjustment in so many ways, and there's so many layers to it. there's, of course, the language, which is very clear. That's different. And we moved from a, a city in new Jersey to really the French countryside. And so there was an adjustment of the conveniences or lack of conveniences in this new place that we live. and so it's really it's been an adjustment in so many ways. But now I can say three years in and in the beginning was extremely hard. now it's it's so wonderful. It's so, so wonderful. And I feel really settled and grounded and and appreciative of where we are. And it's funny, the things that you see or the things that my girls do that I say, oh, wow. Yeah. We're really here. This is so interesting, you know? and the pastries are just phenomenal.
Brenda 00:39:11 Oh my gosh. Yes. Yes, indeed. And, you know, you speak to something really important, which is even the changes that we want can be very challenging at the beginning.
Brenda 00:39:22 Oh, yeah. It doesn't mean it's a mistake.
Mary 00:39:25 Correct. That's that's absolutely correct because I, I actually pictured us sometimes and I thought, okay, we, you know, maybe one day we'll go to France. It seemed pretty realistic. We have some relatives here and and everything. And then you actually do it and you realize, oh, this isn't just for a vacation. You know, you're you're settled in, you're waiting for your furniture to come off the boat, and you're setting yourself up with school. And I had to set myself up with all my business stuff in a different way. And it's with each step, with each milestone, it gets a little bit easier. I had to get my French driving license, like start from scratch and do the whole thing in French. And I just really tried to appreciate each of the milestones when they happened and say, hey, I did that and I'm proud of myself for that, because if you don't, you'll you can just feel you can just see all the all the places that you don't feel you're there yet.
Mary 00:40:25 Right? Instead of seeing how far you've actually come. Yeah. I just think it's so much better to see how far you've come.
Brenda 00:40:34 Right? And celebrating each accomplishment, whether it's studying for the driving license or achieving the driving license. I agree with that completely. And while I have not lived abroad, I have done a lot of kinds of changes. I traveled full time for five months. I've lived in 7 or 8 different states, you know.
Mary 00:40:55 Yeah.
Brenda 00:40:56 And each change is kind of hard in ways. And also really worth it. And I'm wondering, for you personally and maybe for your clients, how do you discern the difference between. I'm getting used to this. I'm acclimating, I'm learning new things. And these are growing pains from, oh, I've made a terrible mistake. How do you how do you differentiate that?
Mary 00:41:23 So I would say I it's a great question. I think there's a couple of things. One, it's important, like we said, to find the celebrations and to find the the positive things and the positive milestones.
Mary 00:41:36 And two, it's really important to have A really strong mind body connection with yourself, because when you feel aligned in your mind and body, you will inherently know if something is right for you or not, or you will know. As time goes by and you'll keep feeling it. I personally believe our bodies tell us way more than we realize. That's right. Yes, yes. And and we have to pay attention to that. We have to. It's just so so I would say, yeah, if someone's really deciding or trying to figure out if they've made a mistake, there's a level of when you do this work, it will be easier to see and it'll be easier for you to know, is this really a mistake or are you really just in an adjustment period? And it's tricky because something like a big move like this one person told me before I moved, they said, you really need all four seasons. You need a full year in the new place to really feel like you've landed. And I remembered that.
Mary 00:42:46 And I took it to heart and I and it was interesting as we watched the Four Seasons and actually France runs very seasonally, even with the food and everything. So it's it's very interesting in a lot of ways. but after that marker, I said, okay, we're here one year. And that I took as a big celebration. But then there's still there's still other milestones along the way even after that. But giving yourself time and trying to not not have expectations of how something should be, you know, oh, I'm moving to this place. It should only take me six months, or it should only take me a year, because actually, there's it's kind of like. I'd say it's it's probably it's similar in a way to, to grief, you know, you like lost something or you moved on from something. And then here is something else. And there's these, ups and downs and peaks and valleys along the way. So just honoring them. But I'd say it's it's really important to pay attention and to know for yourself if it really feels like it's working or not.
Mary 00:43:54 And, you know, you can work with someone like a coach or really even a therapist for something like that, when it's when it's a little bit deeper. If things really seem to not be working correctly in some way, it could it could be something deeper. So I'm always open to to telling people that too. You know, there's different options.
Brenda 00:44:15 I love this, and I can see how what you just said could be applied to moving into a new neighborhood, or taking a new job, or joining a new club. you can apply it to everything where there's always this body awareness, this body wisdom that we all have access to if we're willing to listen and not try to treat the body thing. So like, let's say you get a surprise headache out of the blue if you are popping ibuprofen to get rid of the headache, instead of asking yourself the deeper question around why am I feeling this way? And not to say that we shouldn't be treating medical things, we absolutely should be treating medical things.
Brenda 00:44:58 And also, yep, we have these little nudges. Yeah. Oh my gosh, it's so good.
Mary 00:45:06 It's really important. And it's not it's not so common. I think it's becoming more common. It's becoming more people are understanding or moving that way to understanding that, yes, these this is something and the mind body connection is something. But the more we speak about it is hopefully helpful for other people.
Brenda 00:45:28 Absolutely. On that note, we're going to close for today. Mary, thank you so much for being here. Is there anything else you'd like to say before we close?
Mary 00:45:36 Just thank you for having me and hopefully this helped your listeners in some way. If if anyone takes one nugget, I'm really happy and grateful. So thank you for having me.
Brenda 00:45:47 Oh, thank you for being here. This has been amazing.
Mary 00:45:50 Thank you.
Brenda 00:45:52 I absolutely loved this conversation with Mary, and I hope that you got a lot out of it. You know, one of the things that Mary is so gifted at is guiding us through changes and transitions and really giving grace to get used to things and giving grace to learning to know ourselves better.
Brenda 00:46:12 And I just love that I'm going to put all of her links in the show notes. Be sure you go check them out. One other thing that Mary said that really stood out to me was how she highlighted that you want to be working with people who are doing their own work. And to that end, just a reminder that the self-healing certification for Energetic Sovereignty is still enrolling rolling now through July 4th, 2025 and the Yes to Me journey is back. This is one of the favorite events I host all year. People come back again and again and again, and this exact event is what catapulted me to resign from my own teaching job and go full time in my business, because just the collective energy, the energetic field that's built during this time together. And this year, I'm really creating it so that it is a nourishing journey for you. It's not about learning more, it's about experiencing more. So you're going to come get to enjoy ceremonies and rituals and breathwork. And of course you're going to leave with my three part, your yes filled life framework so that you can put these things into your own life.
Brenda 00:47:23 Go to Brenda Winkle. Yes. To me. And that's why esto me all lowercase. All one word. And this year I am up leveling this experience for you big time. So this is no longer a free event. Enrollment is $179 US. I promise you, it's going to be worth every penny. You will leave with a three part your yes filled life framework. You will have enjoyed ceremony and rituals and community and it is just literally life changing. So learn more and register at Brandon Winkle. Com forward slash to me. That's why e s t o m e all lowercase. All one word. Go to Brenda winkle com forward slash. Yes to me. Thank you so much for listening to your yes filled life. If you enjoyed this episode, would you please consider sharing it with a friend? Thanks so much for being here. Bye for now. Until next time.
