Have you ever said you desperately wanted something—and then watched yourself behave in ways that seemed to move you further away from it? 

Maybe you've called it procrastination.

Self-sabotage.

Fear.

Laziness.

A lack of discipline.

But what if that's not what's happening?

In this episode of Your Yes Filled Life, Brenda explores competing desires—the experience of genuinely wanting one thing while another part of you genuinely wants something that seems to conflict with it.

After asking for greater visibility in her business, Brenda recently had approximately 30,000 people roll through a TikTok Live. It was the kind of reach she'd been actively working toward.

And then something happened that hurt.

That experience helped her see her own competing desires clearly:

Part of me wants visibility. AND part of me wants safety.

Neither desire is wrong.

And that's the point.

You'll hear how competing desires can show up around boundaries, relationships, business, visibility, money, rest, family, and identity—and why labeling the second desire “self-sabotage” can keep you from understanding what's actually happening.

Brenda also shares examples from her coaching work, including what can happen when pursuing a dream collides with loyalty to someone you love, and when professional ambition seems to threaten an identity you've spent years building.

You'll learn why the goal isn't to prosecute one side of yourself until it submits.

It's to hear both.

In this episode:

• Why “self-sabotage” may be the wrong explanation for your behavior
• What competing desires are and why both sides deserve consideration
• Brenda's experience with increased TikTok visibility—and what happened afterward
• Why nervous-system activation doesn't automatically mean your desire is wrong
• How identity, belonging, relationships and old promises can influence our choices
• Why AND creates more space for discernment than BUT
• A simple two-part exercise to uncover the desire you may not have consciously acknowledged
• Why hearing yourself is different from practicing trust in what you hear

Try this: Brenda will guide you through a short and very simple process at the end of the episode to help you get clear on what your competing desires might be telling you.

Join YES TO ME

If this exercise uncovered something you've been circling, bring it with you to YES TO ME on September 15 from 6–8 PM Pacific.

Bring the decision. The boundary. The relationship. The opportunity. The change. The desire.

You don't have to arrive knowing the answer.

This free live experience includes teaching, coaching, somatic work and breathwork designed to create enough space for you to hear yourself.

Register at https://www.brendawinkle.com/yestome 

Keywords: Your Yes Filled Life, Self Trust, Empath, Empaths, Empath Life, Highly Sensitive Person, Intuition, Discernment, Self Sabotage, People Pleasing, Boundaries, Nervous System Regulation, Somatic Healing, Personal Growth, Emotional Intelligence, Competing Desires, Trust Yourself, Sensitive Women, Intuitive Women, Yes To Me, Brenda Winkle