Speaker 1 00:00:00 Let's go. Hi, Tiffany. Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2 00:00:04 Hello. I'm thrilled to be here and have this conversation that I know is going to be exactly what people need to hear today.
Speaker 1 00:00:12 Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Right. So we'll just jump in and I'm going to ask you one question, which is, is there one thing that you did or didn't do that has led to your yes filled life?
Speaker 2 00:00:27 Yeah. And it's not going to be probably what people expect to hear, which is for sure. That's why you have me on your show, is because it's not going to be anything basic. I had to learn this the hard way. Like most things in life, it was me not telling people about my dreams and my visions and where I want to go and the the couple people I told. I mean, that was very privileged couple. I'll put it to you like that because my problem was, I get excited about dreams and what I want to do and what I want to build.
Speaker 2 00:01:06 And it could be in my personal life or professional life. And then I would want to talk about it and share it with people. But then those people project their own stuff back on to us. Oh, why would you do that? You're going to leave your corporate career. That's crazy. Like, are you having, like, a midlife crisis? What's going on with you? Right. Like. And people have said that, I mean, there was not one person that was highly encouraging of me starting a podcast. Even people who were kind of like, they'd be like, that's nice. Kind of like, oh, Tiffany is little hobby. And so when I stopped doing that and I became reliant on myself and my relationship to spirit, that's my guide, right? I don't need the validation or the kudos from outside of myself. It's enough that I want it. And I hold that very sacred.
Speaker 1 00:02:02 that is such a powerful answer. And it's one that I know is going to resonate with the audience, because one of the things that comes up for my clients a lot of times is they get this big dream, and then they go talk about it.
Speaker 1 00:02:15 And the next thing you know, just like you said, everyone's talking on their wow. And it's crushing.
Speaker 2 00:02:22 Oh, crushing. You know, the here's there's something funny. And this person is like, well, pretty well known now and as a podcast. And this person was, I would say as a, as a female. And her specific industry was, successful at the time too. So I had a high respect for this person and what she's built. And she said to me, no one makes money podcasting, total waste. That's why I won't do it. And that messed with me. Not not even people I like knew it was from someone I didn't know, who I, at least on the outside, appears to be successful and in kind of a similar genres. Me and then say that and I go, oh, and I'm like, gosh, am I? It started just kind of made me question myself a little more, and thankfully I still did it. And funny, this person has a podcast now, and this person's people have pitched her to be on my show many times.
Speaker 2 00:03:24 It's really funny how that works and that's awesome.
Speaker 1 00:03:27 So I have to know, did she did you say yes? No.
Speaker 2 00:03:31 No, and I'm not saying that I wouldn't change my mind at some point. It just doesn't feel good to me now. And that is something I take everything through. And I think people get that. Does it feel good to me? Almost. Take it too literally because I know, especially as like driven women, we're like, well, yeah. It feels good to me to be scared and be vulnerable and go do this thing. It doesn't feel good to me to post video. It doesn't feel okay. Like obviously we know like everything at all times in business and life. Like it's not going to feel good to you. But what I mean by it is like checking in with your body more. So like, does this feel right to me? Maybe the better question versus feels good to me.
Speaker 1 00:04:23 Yeah, I love that, I love that. And you know, a lot of the things that I talk about on the podcast are tapping into that inner knowing and ways that we can feel into what's a yes, feel like in the body, what's a no feel like in the body, and how do you know the difference? And that's really what you're pointing to is is this a yes? And what's a yes? Today may not be a yes tomorrow.
Speaker 1 00:04:45 And the same thing with a no.
Speaker 2 00:04:48 I asked myself this morning after not getting much sleep because the air conditioning is broken here. That's a whole nother saga. I do not like being hot and I'm hot. I can't sleep and that sleep is high priority to me for my mental health, among other things. I had a training appointment with my fitness trainer this morning and I'm someone. I have an appointment. I don't cancel last minute. I show up early. I'm very respectful of other people's time. Right, because as I want my time to be respected, but I still had to check in with myself. My ego goes, you have to go. You've committed to going. That would be canceling at the last minute. That's not cool. You need to go because you need to move your body. Are you being lazy? All the stuff starts coming up in my mind, but I brought it back down to yes. But ultimately, does this feel good in my body? Does this feel right? No.
Speaker 2 00:05:45 What a caused me more stress to be doing exercise on almost no sleep, right? And like forcing myself to do something that doesn't feel good. That actually sounds like punishment.
Speaker 1 00:05:58 Yeah it does.
Speaker 2 00:05:59 And I didn't go.
Speaker 1 00:06:01 Good for you for just honoring.
Speaker 2 00:06:03 And I'm not for exercise addict. So that had another layer there where I went. I'm not going. That's taking care of myself is actually not going sometimes.
Speaker 1 00:06:16 And you bring up an important point that discernment between when am I honoring my system and when am I making an excuse.
Speaker 2 00:06:26 Oh I love that. Right. Because we make an excuse of I don't feel that great, I don't want to go for a walk. Like, you know, I don't want to run. I'll do I don't want to run into people. So I don't want to go for a walk. That's an excuse for me. Right? Because it's like, ultimately, you know, when is a walk ever really been a bad idea? Right? Like, for for all parts of your health.
Speaker 2 00:06:53 I'm just making an excuse because I want to isolate. Right?
Speaker 1 00:06:57 Right. Yeah. That's so important. So a lot of the people that I work with, I teach breathwork, I offer somatic coaching, and so they come to me for that purpose. But they're empathic entrepreneurs. And so the overlap between our audiences is you support business owners in creating the life of their dreams as you help them to monetize their gifts and talents online. And I was wondering, and this may be a bigger question than I even recognize. I was wondering if you have a sense of what kinds of things make a difference between somebody who's ultimately going to make it and be able to support themselves with their business, and somebody who decides to go a different direction. Is self-care part of it, or what would you say? What would you say.
Speaker 2 00:07:44 The difference between someone and I've coached more than 150,000 50,000 people at this point from all different backgrounds. So this has like a significant pool of data. I'm sharing this from just to like preface that for you guys.
Speaker 2 00:07:59 You're not like, okay, you know, you actually buy into it. The difference between the people I've coached who have true success and success to me isn't just money, it's abundance is where they're living their life. Their work supports their life. They have options. They truly have like freedom and delight and enjoyment in all of that. And the people who have that invest in the strategy and the the and the mindset and the energy of it all. And you can't have one without the other. I tried, I built my first business with just strategy and grit and hustle and force and knowledge and trial and error. And it was not pretty. It made me very sick. I almost was not on this earth anymore because I was so sick and overworking, overdoing over giving. It wasn't until I incorporated work like you do somatic like the deeper healing work. Not just not. And I have a therapist. I love talk therapy, but that's above the network that only goes so far. It's the work of the body, of working with that energy, of going through the resistances and the blocks and the stories that hold us back.
Speaker 2 00:09:19 Because I've watched people who are smart people, tenacious people, people of amazing businesses, people with amazing business ideas, and I hand them the strategy and the roadmap on a platter, but it's all their internal shit that will sabotage the whole thing. The fear of being seen. What is someone going to think? The perfectionism. and then it's even deeper than that, right? Like when we start peeling back the layers, as I know you do with people, I'm surprised myself with my own work. What? I'm okay where I'm like, oh, I didn't know that was in there. Okay. That makes a lot of sense. And to think we can do this on our own is that one of the biggest, most dangerous lies we can tell ourselves. And I've told myself that many times I can figure it out on my own. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. Like I'll read a book on it. I listen to podcasts on it. Sure, you can do that, but is that really going to get you where you want to go? Like, how are you stacking the odds in your favor of succeeding succeeding? Are you stacking a couple bricks? Are you stacking ten? You know, where are you at? And you have to be honest with yourself.
Speaker 2 00:10:37 Sometimes I'm not stacking that many bricks and then I have to be honest, honest and go, oh, well, that makes sense. Why? I'm not getting the results I want. Because, like, we can go into, like, a pity party. Oh, this isn't working. I'm not getting clients. I still have anxiety. I'm not losing weight. Okay, well, let's take a little inventory. How much have you really invested in time, energy, money? You know, in your heart to getting what you want. And usually the answer is. Oh, that's a fair point. Not very much. Right. Because what we focus on grows. So if you're only putting 10% of energy towards something or some weeks it's 50, another week it's ten, one week it's four. It's all over the place. Well your results are going to be that way.
Speaker 1 00:11:26 Absolutely. And you I was just kind of inventorying my own history, my own journey, as you were saying that. And I started a business in 2005.
Speaker 1 00:11:35 I've owned a variety of businesses. And what you said, I was like, yes, yes and yes because I was doing it all on my own. I was getting frustrated and burned out, and it felt like I was hitting my head against the wall. And it wasn't until I got support that things actually started to move. So I love that you highlight that and you offer a ton of resources. I binge your podcast on a regular basis, and so I know that you have a lot of different things that that can support people. Do you want to talk about that?
Speaker 2 00:12:06 Well, what I say to people is, you know, and I give in my content real high value stuff to take away the excuse of, I don't know where to go, I don't know how to start. You binge my podcast project, meet with Tiffany Carter, like, and you actually implement what I teach in there. You will have results. Same with binging my videos on Instagram or on TikTok. Being in my emails like there's no way you can't.
Speaker 2 00:12:35 But the problem is most of us don't follow through. It's not because you're lazy. It's not because you're this unfocused mess of a person. It's human nature. We have a lot going on, and we have to be held accountable. And a lot of times people need a more customized approach. They need to put more skin in the game. There's nothing like spending money and having like an appointment with someone. You have to show up or right, you're kind of a jerk or you're a jerk to yourself or to them or both, or you're wasting your money, right? So you've got to have something on the line. And that's why like, as obviously I have a podcast, but like that alone isn't isn't enough for like 99.5% of people.
Speaker 1 00:13:24 I would agree. Absolutely. I agree with that. There was something you said recently, and I'm not going to get exactly the wording that you said, but you talked about how important it is to continue to show up and to not do things simply because you feel like it and you are were talking about creating a certain podcast episode or content on TikTok, and you were saying you promise yourself you were going to show up, and then you showed up, even though it was a hard thing for you to do.
Speaker 1 00:13:52 And I admired that so much. And I was thinking about how it feels in my own body when I show up for myself, and when I do the things that I say I'm going to do. Is that something that you had to learn to do, or was that something that you're just wired to do?
Speaker 2 00:14:11 Almost everything I had to learn to do because I'm a survivor of severe abuse. So I was taught to only do whatever the narcissist wanted me to do in every possible way at any given time. And then I went into my adult life and attracted more people like that bosses, friends, boyfriends. Right? And it kept getting reinforced and reinforced until like, you know, I really, you know, hit a bottom in my life. And I had to be in so much pain to really learn how to show up. Regardless, for me, what's on the line is safety and security. I never want to feel trapped. I was trapped in childhood. So for me, that core, when you peel it back, it's I don't want to feel trapped.
Speaker 2 00:15:12 And so that's what gets me to show up 70% of the time. I don't want to do anything. That's just my personality. I'm not a Type-A person. I'm a type C for chill. You know? I like piddling around the house. Like, I don't even know what's happening most of the time. Like, I like that life, but I also want the results that I want. I want the feeling that you mentioned of like it does feel good and self honoring when you show up and follow through. And I like that feeling. And also, you know, it's not it's not the money. It's deeper than money. It's what money represents for me. You make enough money. You have a lot more options, period. That's facts. It's undeniable facts. I like that because it makes me feel free, which is the opposite of trapped.
Speaker 1 00:16:03 That's right.
Speaker 2 00:16:04 Right. And so an I want to work for myself and maintain my own schedule. Right. Because that's freedom for me. So I have to show up or I'm going to have to work for someone else.
Speaker 2 00:16:15 And that is not happening.
Speaker 1 00:16:19 I won't be there. I'm with you there. Oh my gosh, I love this. And you're pointing to something. I'm having a realization as you're talking. And what I'm hearing is not only the freedom, but agency and choice. And that when we can claim that agency and choice in our actions. That creates the sense of safety because we're the ones choosing it. I love that you pointed to that because I to share a background with abuse and carried that abuse in relationships that I chose even into adulthood, as I chose my partners and even some friends. And so now, as I think about what really lights me up and I show up, even when it's not convenient, even when I don't feel like it, even when there's a hundred reasons why I shouldn't. What you just said made a light bulb just pop up above my head because I'm getting to choose.
Speaker 2 00:17:13 So for you, when we peel it all back, it's you must have choice, because there was a point in your life where you did not feel you had choices.
Speaker 1 00:17:22 That's right. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 00:17:25 I love that this came up. And that's when people you might like a lot of people. I wouldn't if someone asked me this, like in my 20s, I wouldn't have had an answer. Right. Like, you have to really spend, you know, some time with yourself and really and and likely have helped with someone getting you there and peeling that back on what is really the core, right? Like for you, you have to have choices. Well, to have more choices, you have to make money.
Speaker 1 00:17:53 That's right.
Speaker 2 00:17:54 Right. Like you, you have to make money, period. And ideally you have more choices, right? When you work for yourself versus someone else. Yes. So it's like if you want to have choices, then you have to show up on the days that you don't feel like it, not like not if you're obviously like super sick. That's not what I'm saying. But all the all the days where you could really lean into an excuse, well, if you want what you say you want, you want those choices.
Speaker 2 00:18:23 That's right. The it's the compound effect that gets you the results. Right? Meaning it's the compound effect that makes you the big money with passive passive income like Investments. You know and it's like you've got to be donating to the bank of yourself every single day by doing something some days some 5%. Some days I'm 90% which is amazing. That's rare. That's when I think I'm going to be on the cover of Forbes. Like that's that's like that's a great day. You know, a lot of times it's like 40%, but I still show up at whatever capacity I can in a day and trust that that's more than enough. And it is more than enough. I'm evidence of it. A lot of people assume when they like, listen to successful people, they and we do it in all areas of life. I do it with people, with relationships. I make up stories. Oh, they must do this in their relationship. I don't know these people. Right? So people make up stories about me.
Speaker 2 00:19:21 She must be super focused, super Type-A, super disciplined, super well-connected. she has a rich husband. You know, people come up with all sorts of stuff versus believing It's possible for you just as you are right now. It really is. It's possible, just as you are right now, all the flaws, all the things and showing up in the best you can on any given day is enough. The problem is most people don't show up every day for themselves.
Speaker 1 00:19:53 I see that in my work too. Yeah. It's the showing up. So one of the things that comes up for people that I work with is prioritizing other people over themselves. I work with empaths and, and I know that you're an empath as well. And so I would love your take on this just as a, as a fresh perspective. Like how do you. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:20:18 So showing up in basically this big scary world as an empath. Yeah. When all you really want to do is like, hide. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 00:20:30 Exactly.
Speaker 2 00:20:31 It is scary, especially now. There's so much intensity and I require for myself extra quiet time, extra loan time, extra nurturing, extra water even. I require all of that in order to maintain, you know, a peak state of mind in order for my own well-being. And therefore, if you're feeling exhausted as an empath, kind of, I call it Kunti with a k like continuous. Like I don't want to talk to people. Snappy, resentful, jealous, any of those feelings. You've got energy leakages and boundary leakages. It is a red flag. You've got to tighten up those boundaries. And let me tell you, the more I guess you could call it like, I don't know, successful and emotionally and energetically like evolved you become. So you're really fine tuning that empath side. The tighter your boundaries have to be, or you'll go down quick, like fast.
Speaker 1 00:21:42 Like ball of fire, flat fast like.
Speaker 2 00:21:45 A ball of fire, like so it's almost strange because it's like the more work you're doing, like with someone like you, you know, and someone's doing deeper, like money healing work with me.
Speaker 2 00:21:54 It's like that more work you're doing. You think like, oh, I'd have more capacity to like, I can just, you know, give here and give there and spread the love. No, you have to actually tighten up even more your boundaries because your energetic force is so powerful. You'll have people so magnetized to you that if you don't do that, you'll suffer a big consequence. And some people listening are right now and they're just thinking. My guess is thinking it must be because I'm a highly sensitive person. I'm an introvert. I'm an empath. And yes, like, I'm not here to say like being an empath has amazing gifts, but it can be tiring. Like, write it straight up, like it can be tiring. I want to hide. A lot of times I wish I wasn't so sensitive because being an entrepreneur and an empath, that is not like a normal match, like it really is not right. Like, think about it, you have to fire people. You have to have tough conversations.
Speaker 2 00:22:59 You've got to, you know, you've got to deal with this shifting and this changing. And then just when you feel like everything's going well, then you get hit over here and knocked around here, we don't just brush things off as easily. No, we.
Speaker 1 00:23:13 Absorb it unless we learn how to deflect it.
Speaker 2 00:23:16 And if I didn't learn that, thank God, and I'm still learning, I'm I'm going to be a student my entire life in this because it's so important if I don't protect my energy and then, like you said, like have a way of deflecting it and removing it and coming back to like, is it like homeostasis type state, like a regulated state daily like. That's right. Times a day literally. Yeah. I, I don't think I would be here. Truthfully. This is how important like work is at healers like you do. I don't think I would be here. because talk therapy I have a therapist. That's not enough. I'm medicated. That's not, it's not enough.
Speaker 2 00:24:00 It's this deeper. It's the body work. It's the energy work. And then when you add the layers of being a survivor and an empath and all these things on top of it, this world is a lot for us. But on the positive, the most successful, potent, powerful, magnetizing, life changing, best. Coaches. Teachers. Practitioners, entrepreneurs I've ever coached and ever met and ever hired and ever worked with are empaths.
Speaker 1 00:24:34 And that's my that's why I'm so lit up about this, this purpose. Because empaths have something so special and unique that it makes me think we've got to get more entrepreneurial empaths.
Speaker 2 00:24:47 It's scary for an empath because it's like, I didn't want to be an entrepreneur either. I was like, this looks crazy. I didn't want to do it because obviously I was also programmed and taught like what's safe is like the corporate life, but that was actually making me sick. But I, you know, I was programmed, so I thought that was safe. It seemed far scarier and more exposing as an empath doing my own thing.
Speaker 2 00:25:17 But in fact, that is actually what set me free.
Speaker 1 00:25:20 I would agree, I felt like one foot in, one foot out on my entrepreneurial journey. I was like part time and then full time employed by a school district and sort of, you know, walking on two sides of the fence. And then I realized that it was actually harder for me as an empath to work for the school district than it was to work for myself and to be able to set my own boundaries and to be able to say no, and to have the tough conversations around hiring and firing and and those kinds of things than it was to work for an organization that didn't feel aligned with my core values.
Speaker 2 00:25:56 Oh, absolutely. But I'm sure when you were in it and thinking about transitioning and leaving, you had all sorts of stuff come up about. But this is a paycheck I can depend on. And this is I'm my benefits classic benefits line. I gave myself that line then. Now I laugh because it really amounts to even if we're being very exaggerating on benefits.
Speaker 2 00:26:23 Okay, I'm talking top, top tier. And you have a family. It's two grand a month. Top tier.
Speaker 1 00:26:29 Like the gold plan.
Speaker 2 00:26:30 I'm talking like ridiculous. Most, most. No one needs that. I'm talking dental vision. I'm talking all of it. It's two grand a month. It's really. It's really. The average is like 800, 600 to 800 if you have a family. And. But like I used to say that for like, what about the benefits? Me too. What about the retirement plan. Yes, the retirement plan. It was like what is happening? I mean, but we it's it's also a testament, though, that when you hear something enough and you see it enough, we just take it on as this is true.
Speaker 1 00:27:08 Right? That's right.
Speaker 2 00:27:11 Like this is the safer way. Well, obviously not if you're not happy there. Right. If you're there's a lot of people who work in the school district who work in pharmaceuticals, which is what I used to be on to talk about.
Speaker 2 00:27:25 Wow, that was a. That was an unsafe career, right? Being in that kind of a profession and state and what's going on. And it's like there's a lot of people who are in it and they genuinely love it. That's fine. Right? Not being an entrepreneur isn't for everybody. But if that is not your thing and you continue to force a square peg into a round hole, your body is going to give out, and I'll tell you when it starts giving out. Some people are lucky. It gives out sooner, because I think it's actually fortunate when it happens, because that's what wakes you up is the body stuff typically, like your energy is depleted, you're gaining a lot of weight, you're sick all the time. Like, right. Like because it's a pain. Pain is what motivates us to change the wheels. The wheels for me, girl, those started falling off that bus at 35. Oh, right. That was about as as as long as my body. You know, that engine I have being on the highest gear, revving at the highest RPMs could take me.
Speaker 1 00:28:31 I made it to like, I don't, I don't, I'd have to do the math and I probably 43. And then it's.
Speaker 2 00:28:36 Impressive.
Speaker 1 00:28:37 The wheels fell off.
Speaker 2 00:28:39 Yours fell off hard. I fell off.
Speaker 1 00:28:41 Hard. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:28:42 Like hospital. Yeah. Oh. So okay. So you might have happened later for you, but yours was like a true a true drop off.
Speaker 1 00:28:54 My wheels might have been falling off slowly for years, and I just kept saying, it's fine. We've got duct tape.
Speaker 2 00:28:59 We can make it work. Exactly what I did, I was like, and then other people I was surrounded with, that was fine for them to.
Speaker 1 00:29:06 That's right.
Speaker 2 00:29:07 Right. And then we would all. Yeah. And we would all kind of go, oh, I'm so exhausted. so that was like this weird common bond of who's more exhausted, who's had more to do, who has to work. And so then it seemed normal. But it's actually not normal. And now the conversations I have with the people I'm around are like, what you said, how does this feel in your body? Like, you know, I could call a friend.
Speaker 2 00:29:34 And I was I'm very upset about a situation going on in my house right now, and it's bullshit. And I was like, I'm not sure what to do. And I'm really upset. And. And how does this feel in your body? There's no one in my life would have ever asked me that before, because I wasn't checking in with my own body. I didn't know how to do that. Right. So I didn't have other people around me. I had a version of myself because like, attracts like, right?
Speaker 1 00:30:01 Exactly right.
Speaker 2 00:30:02 And so now it makes it so much easier because I have the support of I mean, everyone in my life is an empath because we just understand each other. It's so much easier. It's so much easier. And then what I love is so great, and I even have like people in my audience who do people in my posse membership who do it where they'll DM and say, I really just had a strong feeling to reach out to you. And I want you to know, like how appreciated you are and that you're incredible.
Speaker 2 00:30:35 And it was. And then I'm like, obviously you're an empath and you're you're spot on and I appreciate it. How beautiful is that? Like that's why I'm passed are amazing because we we use those gifts to support our people. Right. That's right. To manage this gift. It's a very sensitive, volatile gift.
Speaker 1 00:30:57 That's right. It really is. And one of the things that kept me from embracing my empath abilities fully was fear of leaving everyone else behind. Did you have that come up for you?
Speaker 2 00:31:10 I don't have that many people to begin with, especially then. I have one living relative who's my mom? Who's a narcissist I'm no contact with. So mine was a little different. It was more about, I didn't want to be alone.
Speaker 1 00:31:29 Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:31:30 So I was afraid if I let go of those people who really didn't fit. Tiffany. This Tiffany 2.0, whatever anymore, like, they probably never did fit. I was just kind of making them fit and didn't realize how draining it was or, you know, that kind of a thing.
Speaker 2 00:31:46 I was afraid if I said no and released people, places and things that were no longer serving me, I would be less abandoned and alone. So it was more about me having nothing and nobody around me then me being afraid of leaving other people behind.
Speaker 1 00:32:08 And that hits for me too. Being alone I'm single, I've been single for a long time and as I as I really embrace the entrepreneurial lifestyle, I'm the only person in my whole family like extended family to that's an entrepreneur. And so I was really on a new train track, and so I, I was worried about what will they like? Will I be leaving them behind? Will I be all alone in that? But you know what I found that there are a whole community of people that are just like you and I, that are waiting for other people to join.
Speaker 2 00:32:45 And we don't think there are, because that's how empaths think, right? That's right, that's right. Like, we know we're like unique. And I don't mean in like, an egotistical way.
Speaker 2 00:32:55 We know we're different. We felt different in school. I always knew, and then I would have people say, well, no one has ever asked that question before. I got kicked out of, my mom put me in a Sunday school, which is hysterical in of itself because. So she could meet men. Okay, but I got kicked out of Sunday School. Because all my friends, I was brought up in a high like a big Jewish population. And I love my Jews. And so I was asking questions like, as though I was Jewish, like I didn't know, but I was curious. So I got kicked out of and for asking questions and like, not liking how something felt, you know, something would feel off to me or like, bullshit to me. And so, like, I would call that out, right? Like I didn't know. And it can feel and it can train us to be like, you're different. You think different. Even people in your family.
Speaker 2 00:33:50 I'm like, oh, you know, that's you know, that's Brenda. You know, she's a little wackadoo, right? I mean, that's right. That's like and now someone's like, well, yeah, Tiffany's a little, you know, she's definitely thinks differently and I embrace it. This is also why I'm so successful.
Speaker 1 00:34:07 That's right.
Speaker 2 00:34:08 I am on well in the mind like I think very differently, I know that, but when you embrace that about yourself instead of like minimizing it, kind of compartmentalizing it, you know, diminishing it and you nurture it, girl. I'm telling you, if you want you, you know, it might not interest you. But if you want like big success financially or big success and impacting people and helping people, that is a that is the path.
Speaker 1 00:34:41 That is the path. Yeah. Yeah. I tell my I have a group. It's my, my group coaching program called Second Chapter. And I tell them all the time one day, one day, this chapter, this second chapter group is going to impact millions of people.
Speaker 1 00:34:58 So just enjoy it while it's small because it's not going to be small forever or for very much longer.
Speaker 2 00:35:05 I love this, that's great manifestation. You must be listening to my podcast. I did that. And? And you're saying it with conviction. This is without a doubt. And you're not putting a timeline. I know this is happening. Whatever happens with the divine, you know, and in the best order and the perfect timing for all is going to happen. And you're committed to showing up regardless for it. That's right. Whether you feel like it or not.
Speaker 1 00:35:30 That's right. And then following the breadcrumbs, which sometimes the breadcrumbs look like breadcrumbs and sometimes they don't, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 00:35:40 I do know what sometimes they look like poison. Like poison pellets. You're like, well, I can't take pick that up, I might die. That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1 00:35:51 And how do you know the difference? How? When it looks like a poison pellet and you're like. It looks scary, feels scary, and yet there's something about it that's so intriguing.
Speaker 1 00:36:02 How do you discern?
Speaker 2 00:36:05 I have a great example of this. in 2021, I knew I had to leave my partner and that house, and this is a very good man. This was this is not an abusive thing. it was a lack of growth. Okay? And and you can't make someone grow. You just can't. And believe me, I spent years trying. It took me two and a half years to leave. It's much easier to leave someone who's a jerk. And I was slowly dying. I knew it, and I saw it, and I knew I had to do it. I was terrified I had the money wasn't a money issue. I have the competency. Like, logistically, I do not have children, okay? Like I there were so many things that you could go, well, God, it'd be easy. I use that to shame myself. There's women that want to leave, you know, their partner and they have kids and they don't even have any money. And then they figure out how to do it.
Speaker 2 00:37:05 And I'm not doing all this stuff right? And that sign, that inner guy kept going. You need to go. You need to go get a place on the beach. That's like I'm not going to I'm. I already have a mortgage. What do you mean I'm going to get a place on the beach. Like I'm going to have two houses and then this guy gets to stay in the house and then I'm going to go live in the beach. And so now I'm going to pay for two things. I'm like, I don't like this is scary. What who am I to do this? It's not like I'm J-Lo. Like I make good money, but this is like, you've got to be super crazy baller to do that. And I kept hearing the message. The more I denied it, the more sick I got. The more depressed, the more I weighed I gained. I mean, it was not cute. I was slowly dying and I was terrified, and it was like picking up a giant bowling ball of poison.
Speaker 2 00:37:57 I felt like I was either going to blow up my entire life by doing this, or something else was going to happen, and I did it. and literally like, the skies fucking parted. I mean, and it was. And I'm saying the price so I can make a point because you're going to go, oh my God, it was $17,000 500 a month. Oceanfront rental. Okay. What's crazy I used to make 17 grand a year. Like and it's not like you know I wasn't making what I'm making now is making more than enough money to pay for that. But like it was very noticeable. It's still be noticeable to me now. But I set myself up for the abundance. I had to say no and follow through with action on what was no longer serving me in order to rise to that next level of abundance that was there, waiting for Tiffany to fucking do the thing. and I did the thing, I mean, opportunities, clients. I dropped all my pandemic weight. I mean, without me doing more.
Speaker 2 00:39:13 Me having more fun, delighting in it. All of it. And that's why I still have a beach house now. Oh my gosh. That's why I still do it. It's like. But that was that was a boulder, a poison. It looked like. And I couldn't tell anybody. I didn't feel I could tell anybody because that sounds crazy. It sounds crazy because first of all, they're like, well, Mike's a great guy, you know, like, it's sound. I know it sounds. I knew it sounded crazy on so many different levels. But you know what? What was crazier? Staying somewhere where I was already stayed for two and a half years, slowly losing my life force or staying at that corporate job where I was basically a paid prostitute in the pharmaceutical world. Like, so What's crazier, staying and subjecting ourselves to that, or taking that risk and setting ourselves free?
Speaker 1 00:40:11 I love that story. I'm in the messy middle of a story just like that.
Speaker 2 00:40:16 Oh that's fun.
Speaker 2 00:40:20 That's what you heard the other side of this story. Yeah. What's waiting for you? That's interesting. Divine timing that you're hearing that. Ooh. That messy middles. Brutal. Oh, the dirty diaper. It's rough.
Speaker 1 00:40:34 Yeah, yeah. Well, it's been so interesting. I was guided about 18 months ago to give up permanent housing and to travel full time, and I ignored it and ignored it. Ignored it. And the signs just got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger until it was like slapping me across the forehead. Like, you need to do this now. So in June, I let go of my townhouse and I packed up my car and my dog, and we've been floating around the country just, visiting family and visiting places and and all the, the things. And in the meantime, the learning that I'm doing and the drop ins that I'm getting and the expansion that's happening is absolutely mind blowing. It's not always comfortable, it's not always easy. But I know that it's what I'm supposed to be doing.
Speaker 2 00:41:24 And that's what we have to remind ourselves in the days where it just feels like too much and you don't want to do this anymore. And, where's the escape hatch? We gotta take a moment and pause and remind ourselves. But I followed the inner calling and the clear inner guide, and it wasn't like one hot minute of a message. It was repetitive, clear guidance to do this thing. And that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. And I have to remind myself to, it's like I want to think if I'm on the right path it's all breadcrumbs. There's no poison.
Speaker 1 00:42:03 Right, right.
Speaker 2 00:42:04 I want and I want those. I want big, chunky breadcrumbs where they're undeniable, obvious, juicy breadcrumbs. Like, I want some sourdough. Okay.
Speaker 1 00:42:15 That's it. Yes. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:42:18 That was not the case, but we. Of course we want the path of least resistance. That's why we get sucked into, get rich quick schemes. Get skinny quick this easy way out. you know, release all your childhood wounding and one weekend.
Speaker 2 00:42:35 That's why we get. That's why we get a saw. Your face on that. That's why we get, like, attracted to that stuff. because of course, we want, you know, the path of least resistance with all the breadcrumbs. But that's just not how it works. We have to have the Law of Polarity. We have to have both sides.
Speaker 1 00:42:55 That's right, that's right. That's amazing. Yeah. It's so. It's so good. The law of polarity. That's what informs our next choice feeling and living into the contrast.
Speaker 2 00:43:08 Yeah, we have to. Because how do we know what would feel really good if we also don't know what feels really bad?
Speaker 1 00:43:14 That's right.
Speaker 2 00:43:15 And anything and a friendship. And, having an employee and a client working for someone exercises in your body, right? Like we don't know what a hell yes is if we don't know what a hell no is. And the only way we can learn those, unfortunately, is by going through them. Which I really don't enjoy that part.
Speaker 2 00:43:35 But, like, what are you going to do? It's part of it.
Speaker 1 00:43:38 That is, it is. That's how you learn. There's, I mean, and that's it just informs every choice after that. And it makes such good story.
Speaker 2 00:43:48 Yeah. And I feel it's important to normalize that for people because in this world of all the online social media, you have people only in all specialties. Painting the fantasy marketing picture that it's all lady rainbows and sunshine all the time and in every single area. Business healing relationships. So then you start going, I must be doing something wrong. Because, you know, I have a lot of hard times here. No, you're doing it right. They're lying.
Speaker 1 00:44:21 They're lying. There's no other way to say it. It's just. Oh shit. Yeah. That's right.
Speaker 2 00:44:26 Definitely a lie. Like I promise you it's a lie. Like you're, you know, you're doing it right when you have a range of emotions going.
Speaker 1 00:44:36 That's it right there. When you can feel all extremes of emotionality, you know you're on the right track.
Speaker 1 00:44:44 Yeah. And you said something really important a while ago that I just wanted to, to highlight, which is that the healing continues to happen. It's not like it's a box that's checked. It continues to happen. You continue to show up for it.
Speaker 2 00:45:00 And the second you think, hey, you know, I'm kind of coasting. I like where I'm at, you know, then you are presented from the universe, another layer, and it's usually a deep one of stuff for you to work through. And you're like, oh God, I had no idea this was here. Well, we didn't know because all the other layers had to go first, and you had to be in a certain space in your life to feel safe and feel supported, maybe in order to deal with the stuff. That's why, like, as someone who is a trauma survivor of sexual abuse, my body was frozen. It was frozen in time. It start, it came out in waves. and working through that. Right.
Speaker 2 00:45:46 Because our systems know how much it can handle at a time. And there were so many other layers that even some still come out today.
Speaker 1 00:45:56 Right? I find that to for myself like.
Speaker 2 00:45:59 And sometimes I'm shocked. Like I'm recently learned. I'm really getting now how my physical body inflammation. There's a tie to needing to self protect from the abuse. Like that was my recent epiphany. That's big. Like okay. And I said I see I get that right. Like, you know kind of a body's version of creating padding, you know, like that's right way.
Speaker 3 00:46:28 and.
Speaker 2 00:46:29 It makes sense. And it's like, I've been going to therapy for 20 years. I was inpatient, I've done art therapy, equine therapy. I've had I've been held like a baby in the water. I've done some sort of work, breathwork plant medicine. I've done all of it. And going to continue.
Speaker 1 00:46:50 Me.
Speaker 2 00:46:51 To what's the like? What's the Alternative. I don't I don't think we really have a choice now.
Speaker 2 00:46:57 I mean, I'm way too far in it. This.
Speaker 1 00:46:58 Oh, me too. And I'm not going back, so I, I'm only going forward and I'm here for whatever that looks like.
Speaker 2 00:47:06 Yeah. And that's a question for you guys to ask, you know, am I showing up for the life I want, or am I making a choice to kind of settle for what I, what I've got right now?
Speaker 3 00:47:23 and.
Speaker 2 00:47:23 Only you can answer that. And then the next question to ask is, what does it look like to show up for the life I want? Like, what does that type of person look like? and it's hard to do that with yourself, you know, it's tough. It's not really a fun because usually it's that, you know, you're required to do things that are vulnerable, awkward, new, uncomfortable. They feel risky, they feel scary. So you either have to let go of your desire that you want and genuinely make peace with it and surrender it for now.
Speaker 2 00:47:58 Or you gotta get out of purgatory and start showing up for the life that you want. Otherwise. Oh, does it burn so much energy and time? It's such a waste.
Speaker 1 00:48:12 That is just a mic drop moment right there. Yeah. That was so good. That's right. Are you showing up for the life that you want. It's a beautiful question to ask. Tiffany you are exquisite. Thank you for being here.
Speaker 2 00:48:26 Thank you. That's nice to hear. This is lovely. This is such an important conversation. And I'm appreciative that you make the space and you show up so that people can hear this.
Speaker 1 00:48:38 Thank you. And thank you for being here. And if you haven't yet follow Tiffany. Go follow her on Instagram and I'll put the links in the show notes and go check out her podcast project me with Tiffany Carter. And is there anything else that you'd like people to know before we close?
Speaker 2 00:48:54 I would also say, if you like. Tick tock. I have really great content over there as well.
Speaker 2 00:48:59 And I'm also at project with Tiffany and I would say like, share this episode with someone if it resonated with you. Trust that it will resonate with someone else and all the different ways to work with me. Learn more from me are all in my bio on Instagram and TikTok and like pay this forward if this really sat with you. Sometimes the best nuggets I've gotten, or when a friend or even an acquaintance. I've even had a neighbor once think of me and send me a book or a podcast or an article, you know, use that empath side of you if you feel there's someone who needs to hear this, like follow through on it. That's the best thing you could do to pay this forward.
Speaker 1 00:49:44 I love that. Follow the nudge. Yeah. All right. Thank you. Tiffany. Bye.
