From Knowing Better to Actually Doing Differently

You know the pattern. You know you over-function. You know you take responsibility for other people's feelings. You've read the books, listened to the podcasts, maybe spent years in therapy or coaching - and you understand why you do what you do.

So how do you move from knowing better to actually doing differently?

In this episode of Your Yes Filled Life, Brenda explores the gap between understanding a pattern and being able to make a different choice when you're actually inside it—and what helps close that gap.

Because when someone you love is uncomfortable, helping may not even feel like a decision.

It can feel like love. Helping. Compassion. Responsibility.

And sometimes the very thing you're resentful about later is something you didn't realize you were choosing in the moment.

The answer isn't more shame. And it isn't necessarily more insight.

It's learning to notice the moment sooner.

To create enough space between what you feel and what you do that you can recognize: I have a choice here.

You'll hear how empathy can turn someone else's discomfort into something you feel responsible for fixing, why noticing your choice sooner is such an important part of building self-trust, and how practice begins turning something you intellectually understand into something you can actually live.

Brenda also shares why practicing alongside other women can accelerate this work. Sometimes hearing another woman describe your exact pattern creates the realization: Oh. I do that too.

Shame loosens.

You witness another possibility.

And eventually, you get to practice choosing differently yourself.

In this episode:

• Why understanding your patterns doesn't automatically change them
• How helping can relieve your discomfort with someone else's discomfort
• The hidden choices that can eventually create resentment
• Why caring doesn't automatically make something yours to carry
• How to create space between an automatic response and a conscious choice
• A simple question to interrupt automatic rescuing
• What “more quickly” can tell you about real transformation
• Why witnessing other women is part of the mechanism inside POWER
• The difference between insight, practice, and embodiment

POWER: Self-Trust for Empaths is currently open for enrollment. The Fall cohort begins September 29, and enrollment closes September 28.

Learn more and join POWER at https://www.brendawinkle.com/power 

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