Brenda Winkle 00:00:01 Welcome to your yes filled life. I'm Brenda Winkle, energetic leadership guide, psychic, medium and somatic coach for ambitious leaders who know their gifts are real and who want to stand fully in them. Here you'll learn how to trust your intuition, embody your vision, and step into the freedom you've been creating, all without chasing more certifications or carrying stuff that does not belong to you. Every week, I'll share powerful practices and conversations with thought leaders and changemakers that help you transform your vision into embodied confidence. Claim your gifts without apology and lead with both clarity and freedom. Because your gifts aren't cute. They are powerful. They're real, and they're needed. Start today by downloading my free energy audit at Brenda Winkle. Com for audit. It's the exact tool I use to track what's fueling me and what's joining me. It will help you discern between that hit of achievement and true joy, so that you can lead with more clarity and impact. This is your space to stop proving, start embodying and live fully in your gifts.
Brenda Winkle 00:01:16 Welcome to your yes filled life. Hello and welcome to your yes filled life. I'm your host, Brenda Winkle. Today on the podcast, I am so excited to be sharing a live talk that I did inside of an amazing community called the Inner Light Collective for their small group named luminary. I was so grateful to be invited into this community and their founder, Rose is known as a Magdalene Wisdom Keeper, and you can feel the presence of Mary Magdalene in every part of this community. It is so heart Lead. So love filled that I was touched beyond comprehension. When I was in their space and I left the call with tears in my eyes and feeling like my heart was absolutely as full as it has ever been. It was an incredible, extraordinary experience, and I'm so grateful to share this talk with you, not only because you'll get to feel a taste of that, but because I'm diving into one of the foundational things that I teach inside my groups to my private clients and in many of my talks.
Brenda Winkle 00:02:37 And I've alluded to it on the podcast before, but never gone in depth. It is the difference between appreciation and gratitude. Now, before you say, hey Brenda, that doesn't sound that interesting. They're pretty similar, aren't they? Well, let me tell you this. Some of the feedback that came from members after this is that their lives have been changed forever. And even though it's been several days since I was in this talk live, since I was in this community live, I'm still getting messages about how they're sharing what they learned with their communities, with their friends, with their loved ones, and it's making such a difference in how they feel, in the hopefulness that they carry and in the ideas that are coming through because they feel so much different, so much better in their bodies, in their lives, in their hearts. And I can't wait to share this with you. So I also want to invite you to go check out the Inner Light Collective and Luminary, and I'll put the link in the show notes.
Brenda Winkle 00:03:43 So grateful that their founder, Rose, is in Oregon, and we were able to meet in person at an Ellen Yin event when she hosted the Bloom Soiree. Rose and I met in person, but we had connected several months earlier through Ellen, and it was one of those meetings that you just know you're supposed to do more things in life with this person. It was one of those. So without further ado, let's jump into it. Here is the talk for the Inner Light Collective and Luminary.
Rose 00:04:21 I am so excited again. We have Brenda today with us and I've been looking forward to her joining us. She is a colleague here in the Pacific Northwest and just an absolutely lovely, abundant woman. And I'm always magnetized to them, of course. And so I've been looking forward to her joining us and coming in and sharing here in the collective and in especially with our luminaries. You are the crown jewel Queens of Inner Light Collective. So Brenda Rinkel is under. She's an energetic leadership guide. She is an intuitive channel and a somatic mentor, which I love.
Rose 00:05:06 She supports visionary professionals, founders, entrepreneurs, women personally to reclaim their energy and to trust their inner knowing and lead with clarity, soul and ease. And when you're in her, you will notice. When you're in her energy and in her presence, you receive from a place exactly what you need, exactly where you are. I noticed that every time that I am in Brenda's presence and in her energy, she blends decades of experience and leadership and an education with intuitive gifts and energy and healing and trauma informed somatic work. And she also supports high capacity leaders, executives, educators, physicians, creatives, and spiritual seekers through transitions that demand more than mindset alone. And many of us can relate to that. And you probably are already noticing how she can meet anyone, anywhere and really serve them. She's got this grounded yet expansive approach that helps and supports leaders come home to themselves and lead from presence and not pressure. And you know, I love that because I'm all about presence versus performance. So you can see why I was magnetize to her.
Rose 00:06:24 And she's known for her calm authority and her psychic precision, that discernment that I talk about so often and a nurturing presence. And Brenda creates this high frequency space and energy for really deep calibration, whether she's speaking on stage or guiding you through breathwork or working with you on 1 to 1 if you're ready to step into your next chapter. I love You're in the Right Place here with Brenda and Brenda. Again, I am so honored that you're here, and I would love to pass to you and just hand the mic in the space to you, love.
Brenda Winkle 00:07:05 Thank you for having me. I'm just so thrilled to be here and so grateful that I was able to listen to each of you talk about how you have been experiencing abundance, and one of the things that stands out to me is your capacity to notice what's good, your capacity to allow yourself to enjoy and receive what's good. And I really want to highlight that because it is special. Not everybody can do that. And the fact that you did it so easily with a prompt from Heather just and you just passed it around the room, I just felt chills and so much joy and honored to be in your presence.
Brenda Winkle 00:07:56 So thank you for having me, Rose. When I think about abundance, I really believe it is in the noticing because there's abundance everywhere. If we're willing to widen our field and when we get really narrow vision and we think it has to be this way, it has to come in in this fashion, it has to be through this channel. It has to be this amount. It has to be this way. We know that that actually blocks the abundance, right? And so as you're thinking about your sacred design, which Rose filled me in on what you've been building for yourselves, when we come into that narrow focus, I would love to shift the perspective that there's nothing wrong. When that happens, nothing has gone wrong. Your body, your nervous system, is responding exactly how it's supposed to respond. When your focus narrows, it's because your nervous system has read something that you're doing as a potential threat. And the nervous system is highly intelligent and we can't outthink a nervous system. So this week on my podcast, I was telling a story about how it took me 12 years from graduating from college to pursuing my master's degree.
Brenda Winkle 00:09:38 I had every reason under the sun why I really needed to wait. And each year I would wait some more. It was. The marriage wasn't quite right, or the finances weren't quite right, or I wanted to be a mom, or we weren't in the right house. Or if you asked me to come up with 101 reasons, I probably could have on the spot. The truth was, I was scared. I was really scared. Not so much of doing the work, but I was scared of what it would mean if I applied and didn't get accepted. What would that mean? And I was scared. Of what if I applied and did get accepted? That was scary. And then I was scared of what would happen if I applied, got accepted and graduated. Then what? And at the time I was just laughing. I was, you know, I was coming home from work, I was a teacher. I was doing the dishes. I was, you know, cleaning house. I was doing the things I didn't have the luxury of having any kind of reflection at all.
Brenda Winkle 00:10:50 So I believed everything I thought. And it wasn't until I was actually in that master's program that I realized, I want to know more about how our bodies are interacting with everything else. And my culminating project for my master's degree was an ethnographic sketch on the impact of trauma in the body. That was my doorway into what I do now. And so when we think about our field getting really narrow, it has to come in this way. It has to be this client. It has to be this offer. It has to be this much. Nothing has gone wrong. Your nervous system is activated. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it's supposed to do. It's supposed to keep you safe. Right? So if we don't tend to our nervous system as we get ready to expand and to widen our field and to see more abundance. We'll end up believing everything we think. And our thoughts are not facts, and our feelings are not facts. So what we've done here is we've just widened our field.
Brenda Winkle 00:12:11 Can you feel it? So to land this plane, so to speak, from where we started thinking about abundance. When we're feeling really abundant, we have these wide fields. We can see lots of different things. We can notice the leaves on the trees and every petal on the flower. And we can notice the pennies that we're saving or the pennies that we find, and we can notice the rest. And when our vision narrows. Nothing has gone wrong. It's our nervous systems way of communicating. I'm in stress right now. Or perhaps distress. And so when we notice that our vision is narrowing. We're getting stuck in the house. How is it going to work? How is it going to come in? When we notice that if we cannot make it mean anything. Except. Oh, I'm activated. Something's going on for me. I'm in pain. I'm in fear. I'm in. Something's going on for me. And then tend to whatever that is. Then we can widen our own fields.
Brenda Winkle 00:13:41 So there's a lot of ways we do this. One of the ways is through breathwork, which we just did, you can pop a song on a favorite song, and you can do the exact breath pattern that we did today and feel really, really different. And when you're really activated, you're not going to remember how to breathe. You're not going to remember that breathwork is a tool, right? Because when you're really activated, we can't remember what our tools are. We don't even remember. We have tools. We think, gosh, it's a catastrophe. Right. Or is that just me? Okay. Yeah. So I want to show you something that I have used for the last, I would say, 15 years, and I didn't realize what I was doing was actually based in science. So it is the the emotional vibrational scale. So if you follow teachers like Abraham Hicks, you've heard of this. They talk about the emotional vibration scale, but it's actually based in science. It's based in fact.
Brenda Winkle 00:14:53 So we know through the work of Like Map of Consciousness explained and different other books like that, that every single emotion has an actual vibration. So when we say something is high vibe, that's actually true. It vibrates at a higher frequency. Well, how do you get to high vibe if you're stuck in scarcity or fear or pain or activation? That's the question, right? So the thing I love to do is to use appreciation as a vehicle. Now gratitude is really beautiful and I'm not knocking gratitude in any way. Gratitude is awesome. Appreciation is even better. And here's why. When we look at the emotional scale. Gratitude is slightly lower vibrational than appreciation. And your mind might be saying, yeah, but I mean, that doesn't make that much of a difference. It's like what? Maybe just a little bit different and it is just a little bit different. But the big piece is there's a tiny bit of contrast for most of us when we get into gratitude. In other words, I'm so thankful this thing happened.
Brenda Winkle 00:16:15 And then in the back of their our mind, we're thinking, because what would I have done if it didn't? Or I'm so grateful you did this thing for me, because I remember that time when somebody else didn't. There's a just a slight amount of contrast where appreciation is just squeaky clean, squeaky clean. There's no contrast. So I'd invite you to try it right now. Just say to yourself, find something in your space and just say, I'm really grateful for this thing. It could be a pen. It doesn't have to be like moral high ground here. Just like something in your space that you can be grateful for. Just. I'm really grateful for whatever it is. Did you find your thing? Okay, now let's flip it just ever so slightly. And now I'll just be quiet for about 10 or 15 seconds. I want you to same thing. Feel appreciation for that same thing. It's shocking, right? Absolutely shocking. It's such a small thing. It's like the small hinge that swings a big door.
Brenda Winkle 00:17:49 It's mind blowing. When we use appreciation as a vehicle. You can shift things instantly. Now, one of the traps. High achievers. People that are really good at what they do. Entrepreneurs, founders. Professionals. One of the traps we get in is we like to high achieve everything. So if I'm down in the depths and I'm like, I put this in the chat, by the way. if I'm down in the lower band with fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness, my high achiever brain is going to say, the solution is for me to get to the top of this pyramid. That's when I'm. That's my goal. That's the high achiever in us. That may not be realistic. If we make that the expectation, we'll often be really disappointed. And then the negative self-talk starts. If we can acknowledge one band up as a miraculous shift, it's absolutely life changing. And I'm not just saying that. So if we can move from the bottom band of fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness, up to one band, to jealousy, insecurity, guilt and unworthiness, that's massive.
Brenda Winkle 00:19:14 And then we'll do appreciation again and see if we can move up one more band. And maybe just like a staircase, maybe there's a couple times that you'll skip a band, but you can't move from the bottom of the staircase with one leg up to the top of the staircase. Like, even if you have three steps. Ask me. I've tried. As a kid, I had three steps from one place to the other, and I tried many times to get my heel on the top thing, and I tried to muscle my way up. It doesn't work. And the same thing works on this pyramid that if you try to move from fear, grief, depression, despair, and powerlessness all the way up to joy, love and passion, it's going to feel like you're trying to do the splits in your life. And when we get to trying to do the splits in our life, then the negative self-talk comes up and then we're like, oh, never mind, I wasn't good at this anyway, right? So we want to be super gentle with ourselves and hold ourselves accountable, but super gentle with ourselves in allowing us to move up one band and then one band.
Brenda Winkle 00:20:31 And maybe it takes you a week and a half to move up one band. And that's still. That's okay. We're not in a race here. It gets to be okay to be wherever you are. If you can do those two things, use appreciation and give yourself the grace to move. Band by band. You'll eventually remember all the tools that you already have. You'll remember all of the resources you already have. Because what happens? Your field begins to widen. I'd love to know what questions come up for you. Thank you for sharing that. And you teed me up perfectly for the next step, which is if we can be in whatever we're in and not make it bad and come into appreciation, things begin to shift so you can be enraged by something and turn to appreciation and feel it shift and change. It's not about bypassing the emotion. We don't want to bypass emotion that leads to chronic disease, inflammation, depression, anxiety. We don't want to bypass emotion. We want to feel it all the way through and not get stuck there.
Brenda Winkle 00:22:14 And appreciation is the way we can do that. And for me, in the way my brain works, I can be in a real state and I may not remember to breathe. I may not remember to tap, but I can remember to appreciate. And so even if I'm often just like in something, I go downstairs, I'll be like, wow, I appreciate this. And it's sort of such a habit that my vibration stays pretty consistent because I'm always, oh, I appreciate this, I appreciate this. And so when you apply this to the abundance work that you were talking about and to your own sacred design, if you incorporate it, you're going to have a massive you're just going to feel better. And one other thing it's really important is don't expect yourself to do this without support and scaffolding. You don't have to remember to do anything. I have alarm set on my phone all day long. I have an alarm at 7:55 a.m. that says everything is always working out for me. It's my reminder.
Brenda Winkle 00:23:37 Every day. I'm like, yeah, it is. Everything's always working out for me. And then at 2 p.m. Pacific, I have an appreciation alarm and it doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing, I have the sound on for that alarm and it rings. I've been in meetings, I've had my hair done, I've been out to eat. And no matter what happens, I'm like, oh, that's my alarm. Let's stop. What do you appreciate? I've never had anybody, including my hairdresser or waitstaff or anybody else that said, oh, I don't want to do that. Everyone stops and they're like, oh, you know what? And then they'll launch into what they appreciate. So you're building relationships around it. You're also being the lighthouse for people, and you're feeling better all the time. You don't have to do this in private. You don't have to be ashamed of it. You can, like be loud and proud about. This is how I choose to live. You want to come with me? And then that also creates a magnetism in your business that people.
Brenda Winkle 00:24:39 They may not be able to explain, but they can't deny. You don't have to get it right all the time. You don't have to feel right all the time. There is no such thing as right. Just keep making the steps, taking the steps, doing the work, doing the things. I've had these daily alarms in my phone since 2009. They've changed because as humans, we'll start to, like, go blind to the normal things. Like you ever noticed. Like you're like, you look at the mirror and you're like, oh, I put that sticky note there like seven years ago or whatever. So you do need to change things up from time to time, because you will kind of go blind to your normal routines and your normal things. So you'll have to change up the time of the alarm, and you might need to change up what the alarm says, you know, from time to time, but I've, I haven't been without an alarm since 2009. If this episode is hitting something for you, I want to tell you about my membership, the spiritual CEO.
Brenda Winkle 00:25:36 It's where I work with creatives, empaths, heart led leaders, professionals, entrepreneurs who are building real things businesses, creative projects, meaningful work, and who don't want to lose themselves in the process. We're kicking it off with a meditation guided by one of our own members, Brian Bell. We'll have a workshop on navigating relationships when you're going through big identity shifts, a Spring Equinox breathwork session, a workshop on joy not as a luxury, but as something that actually makes you more steady and clear. And then we're kicking off April with a Q1 reflection and a Q2 planning session, because if you don't take time to actually feel into what's happened, it's easy to repeat the same patterns. You can try it free for a week. And if you've been wanting a grounded space to think, grow and lead better, this might be it. The links in the show notes. Now back to the episode. Same thing happens for me. That's why I say I go. I use the words, I go blind to it, but I'll be eventually like snooze, ignore and I only, I only go like two days.
Brenda Winkle 00:26:44 And then I'm like, wait, something's off? Because my energy is different. As soon as I stop doing these practices, which is also a way to say tending to your energy is your number one priority. But it can't be just like you sitting on your meditation pillow spiraling, which is what I used to do. Maybe none of you do that, but that's what I used to do. I'd like sit on the meditation pillow, and I would use that whole time that I was meditating to worry about what was going to happen, and then to try and control outcomes. And I maybe that's just me, but when I put some intention behind the practices and some scaffolding. I was able to circumvent those things. So I've never been formally diagnosed with ADHD, but my daughter has ADHD and we know it travels in family trees. And I do have PTSD, which in the brain as far as like learning and retaining information and executive functioning, we treat the same way. So the same like the timers are great.
Brenda Winkle 00:27:53 They're they're really great because they serve as a reminder, which maybe we need. And I think it's fun to have reminders that you can do with other people. Thank you so much for listening today. I hope that you've enjoyed this. Please go check out the link in the show notes about Rose's community, the Inner Light Collective, and Luminary. And remember that if you're ready for steadier leadership and clearer thinking, come check out the spiritual CEO. You can try it free for a week. It's $111 per month or $1,111 for the year. Details are in the show notes, and I'd love to have you inside the spiritual CEO. This is for you if you want to be the CEO of your energy, your life, your work, and your business. You don't have to own a business or even be in business to be a spiritual CEO. Thank you so much for listening to your gas filled life. If you enjoyed this episode, would you please consider sharing it with a friend and leaving the podcast a rating review? Wherever you're listening, you can Google how to do that.
Brenda Winkle 00:29:01 If you're not sure, you could ask ChatGPT how to do that. If you're not sure, it takes about 30s and it makes such a difference for the podcast. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. I do not take it for granted. I appreciate you more than you could ever know. Bye for now. Until next time.
