Brenda 00:00:04 Welcome to your yes filled life. I'm Brenda Winkle, an energetic leadership guide, a psychic medium, and a somatic coach for ambitious leaders who know their gifts are real and want to stand fully in those gifts. Here you'll learn how to trust your intuition, embody your vision, and step into the freedom you've been craving without chasing more certifications or carrying everyone else's stuff. Every week, I'll share powerful practices and conversations with thought leaders and changemakers that help you transform your vision into embodied confidence. Claim your gifts without apology and lead with both clarity and freedom. Because your gifts. They're not cute, they're powerful. They're real, and they're needed. Start today by downloading my free energy audit at Winkle for audit. It's the exact tool I use to track what's fueling and draining me. So you can also lead with clarity, impact and intention. This is your space to stop proving and start embodying so that you can stand fully in your gifts. Welcome to your yes filled life. Hello and welcome to the show today.
Brenda 00:01:35 Today I have a question. It's a question I've been asking myself for a while, and it's a question that I posed to you. Which is. Is your routine helping you or holding you back? Now, let me tell you a little story. So if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you know about my dog Bentley, who is an Italian greyhound, and maybe you remember that there was something that happened in March of this year of 2025 that was bad and scary and caused me to reach out for some support. Well, that primary support has been an incredible woman named Gia. And Gia owns a company called Thinking Canine. Now, you can follow Gia on Instagram, on Facebook, on TikTok. And she's incredible. In fact, if you have dogs, she's absolutely someone that you should be following because she is so knowledgeable and such an expert and heart centered and really focuses on positive rewards and understands dog behavior so that she can kind of decode what's happening. And she can also decode, even over zoom calls, what might be happening.
Brenda 00:02:54 As far as things that I could do to shift or little tweaks in how I'm approaching something that I've made a tremendous difference for both Bentley and for me. Because, you know, if you have fur babies, you know what a big part of their lives you are and a big part of your life they are. So Gia has been with us since March, when we were in that crisis stage. We were meeting weekly or every other week, and now we've kind of moved on to about once a month. And things were going really, really well right up until I went to London. And when I was in London, Bentley stayed with a family friend, and while he was staying there, Bentley's reactive. He's dog reactive, meaning dogs are his trigger. And that's in large part due to the fact that he was hit by a car when he was three months old, before I had even met met him and his pelvis was broken in at least two places, and he spent the next eight weeks in rehab missing out on some really essential socialization time.
Brenda 00:04:01 So Bentley's very scared of dogs. And so he's been in dog reactivity training with Gia since, well, since March. Anyway, when I was out of town in London, which I still needed to tell you about, I can't wait to catch you up. Bentley was attacked by an off leash dog, and I don't know the whole story. I probably should have asked a lot more questions, but it set him back. I mean, really, really set him back. In fact, I texted Gia kind of an SOS like help me text because his fear, his reactivity, his whole nervous system that was happening was worse than even before we started working with Gia. It was really alarming. I was scared, I didn't know what was going to happen. And so Gia gave me some immediate things that I could do to help. And so I put those all into place, including we didn't leave the house for a week. We just like we didn't go on walks, we just stayed at home.
Brenda 00:05:08 We tried to keep things really calm, really chill. While his nervous system was recalibrating. And that began to work. And then last week was our phone call, our zoom call with Jeff. So we had our next appointment. Well, in that appointment, Gia helped me out. She gave me some things that I can be trying, some things to do. And then one of the things I love about working with Gia is she will identify things that I'm doing that could help Bentley if I didn't do them, and also things that I could start doing that were helpful. And one of the things that I went to her about, in addition to, like trying to get back to where we had gone to, you know, before I left to London, was he has started to demand bark and I mean demand bark. He would want something and he would insist on it. And she was like, this is interesting. So she asked me some different questions and I answered. And eventually she said, the thing that I would like you to do is to really change up his routine.
Brenda 00:06:12 Be unpredictable. Don't let him get into a thing where he knows exactly what's going to happen next. Instead, change it up. Go for walks at different times, give different treats at different times. Just shake it up so he doesn't have the predictability. And I worked with Gia for all these months and I trust her completely. And so I just thought, yes, absolutely. This is what we'll do. And in the back of my mind I'm thinking, this is so interesting, I'm absolutely going to try this. And I have been taught as an educator and then also lived and witnessed that sometimes a routine can be really stabilizing. And so I didn't know for sure what was going to happen to either of us. Honestly, I was a little nervous because I do tend to like my routine.. Well, here's the thing. Everything that you have been taught about your life, about your kids lives, even about your dog's life. As far as routines. Well, let me tell you my surprise.
Brenda 00:07:19 Instead of chaos or unpredictability, changing up our routine has unlocked new energy. It's helped me to step into a new identity, new clarity for both me and for Bentley. Bentley is calmer. He's happier. He's more relaxed. And quite frankly, so am I. We're both having a lot more fun, and part of the new, evolution of the podcast is in large part due to the changes that we've been making in our schedule over the last couple of weeks. So here's the central question. If shifting a routine helped me and Bentley This much. What if shifting a routine could help you and your leadership? So before we answer this question, and by the way, I'm not going to answer it for you. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I am going to pose some questions for you. Let's talk about why routines feel safe. So your nervous system has one job, and that job is to keep you alive. So as long as you're within the window of tolerance, where there's not too much stress in your life, your nervous system is pretty happy.
Brenda 00:08:35 And one of the things that we can do to keep our nervous systems happy is to create predictability. It's to create routines. And if you know anything about trauma, if you've ever recovered from a trauma or PTSD, you know that routines are absolutely grounding. They're very protective as far as protecting your energy, and they can actually reduce decision fatigue. If you have a really well thought out routine, and many of us believe that our safety comes from the structure that we create in our schedules and in everything else, and even in like trauma informed practices, we know that anchoring different activities in certain orders so that you know what's coming next is very soothing to the nervous system. So we know that to a certain extent, routines are really important and healthy for the nervous system. So an example might be taking your walk at the same time every day. Your body and mind both know what's coming next. And that can create a sense of calmness in your nervous system. So you're kind of teaching your nervous system this then that.
Brenda 00:09:53 So an example was when I was teaching full time, I would come home, I would immediately change into my shoes and I would go walk my dogs. And it was very routinized and it was very predictable. And both, both my body and my mind and spirit and the dogs all knew that was going to happen. It was very grounding, very centering. So here's the interesting thing. Routines can become ruts where they're actually cages instead of containers. If we aren't thinking about them mindfully and questioning whether or not it's actually serving us, if we're just sort of unconsciously stuck in a routine, it can be very limiting. It can actually hold you back. And there are some subtle signs that a routine might be holding you back that mirror different states of the nervous system. Which is why. Which is why it can be really confusing to think about what do I do? Do I keep the same routine? Do I change it up? And we'll get into that in just a second. But here are some signs for signs that you might be headed for a change in your routine.
Brenda 00:11:14 That changing it up might actually be the most supportive thing for you. So signs that your routine is holding you back would be you feel restless and you can't name why. You don't really know why. Like nothing is gone wrong. You're not anticipating anything. You're well rested, well fed, well hydrated, well resourced, and you still feel a sense of restlessness. It could be that there's something in the routine that needs to change. Another sign might be your creativity feels flat. It's just hard to think. It's hard to create. It sort of feels like grinding when it used to feel like flow. The third sign would be when your life feels like you're managing it and not living it. Like you're just moving from appointment to appointment To. To client. To. Client. To. Whatever. Calendar event. To. Whatever. Calendar. Event. But you're not really living or centering into it. Or just like marinating into that goodness. That can be a sign that your routine is holding you back.
Brenda 00:12:15 And the fourth sign that your routine is holding you back is when you know you're resisting change. At the same time, you're craving freedom. So when I thought about those, those were all present for me, right before I left for London. And then when I came back from London, I instantly came right back into the same routine I'd had before. But London was so expansive for me. And and I will share about the trip with you, because it was pretty magical, but it was so expansive for me. I feel like I have evolved even since coming back from London. And then with the eclipse portal opening on September 9th. Oh my goodness. I feel like I'm continuing to evolve and continuing to shed, which is why everything in my world is evolving. You've probably noticed a shift on social media. If you follow me there, you definitely have noticed the shift in the podcast. If you've been listening to me for any any length of time, and I think it's because of all of this, like stepping into a new evolution.
Brenda 00:13:21 Not that I'm a better version, but I'm just a more evolved version. And I think the same thing can happen for each of us. So in my human design, I am a profile of a manifesting generator, which means that I actually need variety and experimentation to feel a sense of satisfaction. And I know this. And yet I was really stuck in a routine thinking that what I was doing in a specific hour was enough to shake it up. And I'm wondering maybe if that wasn't true. So let's come back into what's happened for me over the past couple of weeks when I've changed my routine. For the first time ever. And I'll tell you what changed and what didn't change. So what didn't change was my typical sleeping schedule. That is pretty much the same, but I've tried to, within my day, create little surprises for myself and for Bentley. So we still walk the same numbers of times, but we walk in different places and we walk at different times, and the treats that I give him are different.
Brenda 00:14:34 And the times that we do physical therapy are different, and the times that we play games, they're different. Everything is different for both of us. And that means I'm taking different routes for the walks. I'm taking walks at different times. And one of the things that Gia also invited me to do, and was really a strong recommendation, is for the next at least 2 to 3 weeks. We didn't want Bentley to have any reactions to any dogs, and so if I'm out on a walk and I see a dog. I need to turn around and go the other way because dog avoidance has become our number one priority. Okay, so that's meant I'm not going on any route. I am just walking. And then if we see a dog, we turn a different direction. And then if we see a dog, we turn in a different direction. And then we if we see a dog, we turn a different direction. And what has happened has been absolutely incredible. So I feel a renewed sense of energy.
Brenda 00:15:31 My creativity is on fire. I have laser focus. I have crystal clarity around the ways in which I want to show up and what I want to happen in the business. Even I feel this, this sense of new identity emerging. And I know it's partially what happened in London, but it's also partially this leaving behind of the routine. Leaving behind the routine has changed the structure of my mind. It's changed the structure of my day, my schedule, and it has allowed for a sense of freedom. And it's allowing new creative, creative ideas and a new energy to come in.
00:16:11 And it's so.
Brenda 00:16:12 Fun. Like today, for example, as I'm recording this, this is a random Thursday afternoon. I most typically spend Saturday mornings with my daughter Maya and her dog, who used to be our dog, but it's her dog now named Jane, who's a Queenie. And then Bentley and Jane hang out. I wouldn't say they play. Bentley would like to play, and Jane would like Bentley to not play.
Brenda 00:16:37 But, we hang out typically on Saturday mornings. Well, today it happened that she had the day off. And so she called me as I was getting ready to record this episode. In fact, I actually had an older version that I did record of this episode, and she was like, hey, are you busy? And I said, well, I'm working on stuff, but, what do you what have you got in mind. And she's like, well, we could stop by and I could bring you the cherry lime syrup. So she had gone to some, like, wholesaler because she needed to get some specific syrups for her job. She's an assistant manager at a French restaurant. And when she went, I knew the day she was going. And I was like, oh, you know what would be really good is that cherry lime, Toronto syrup. I just love that. I love Italian sodas and oh, that just sounded so good. I didn't have a cherry lime slush all summer.
Brenda 00:17:32 And so when I knew she was going, I was like, oh, this is going to be fun. So she said, yeah, of course, no problem, she's going there anyway. So anyway, it's Thursday and she had asked, you know, what we were doing? And come to find out, she came over with the cherry lime syrup and we just sat down and we had a little, a little drink on a random Thursday afternoon with the Waterloo, nectarine. Was it nectarine or something? like nectarine, lemon or something. The Waterloo, the sparkling water and the cherry lime sauce. And then a little lemon vodka that I had in the freezer. So I don't typically. In fact, I never have recorded the episode after having a drink. But I thought to myself, why not actually show you? Let you feel the energetic power of completely shifting my routine. Most typically, I'd have been like, no, I gotta work till five even though I don't have anything time bound.
Brenda 00:18:29 And today I was like, no, I'm going to start recording the podcast at five when she leaves, because it was so fun to just hang out with her on a random Thursday. So all these ideas are flowing in me, and I feel so clear and so resolute about the direction of the podcast, about how I want to serve clients, about how I want to show up in the world. And it's in large part to changing the routine. It's also what happened in London. But thirdly, it's about what's happened inside of a group of calls that I had with spiritual entrepreneurs, where I was on the phone with at least ten different entrepreneurs, asking them a ton of questions about what is hard about spiritual entrepreneurship, what's going well, what do you love about it? What are you frustrated by? It? And it has given me so much clarity on exactly what I want to do to solve the problem and what problem I want to solve. And so that feels amazing too. So in my life, in my business, in my podcast, I feel like a renewed sense of energy.
Brenda 00:19:42 It's like a new infusion of vitality and creativity and it just feels so good. Maybe you can hear it. For Bentley, the change is also profound. He is calmer. He's having more fun. He's happier. He's more relaxed. You would think that based on what we think about routines and predictability, that he might actually be off center a little bit, right, like that. He wouldn't know what's coming next. And so he might even be more anxious. But Jia was right. Jia was right. Instead of that, he's more confident. He's calmer, he's having fun. And you know what? So am I. And so the whole reframe of this has been shifting your routine doesn't mean you're losing control. It doesn't mean not showing up in the ways that you need to be showing up. But it does give you the permission slip to experiment so you can find out something new that might work for you. A new groove, so to speak, to match who you're becoming. Which feels really good.
Brenda 00:20:49 It's so exciting. It's so free. Right. And I think that that's one of the things that we all want is that sense of freedom. So I have an invitation for you to try one simple experiment this week. It could be changing the time that you typically take a walk, or the time that you typically have coffee, or the time that you typically work on a specific task. Change that up with intention, or that's one option. Or rearrange your workspace. Put your desk in a different order. Make it face a different direction. Or instead of starting your morning with the phone, with emails and whatever else you might be checking first thing in the morning. Start with breathwork. Which brings me to a really important point. If you are a spiritual entrepreneur or a spiritual person and you have practices under your belt like Reiki or breathwork or somatic or theta healing or whatever, it's very easy to get stuck in that morning routine where you have to do self Reiki and then breathwork and then journaling and then meditation and then and then and then and the word for that is high achieving your healing.
Brenda 00:22:09 I guess that's not a word. That's a phrase. If you're stuck in that pattern of like, your morning just gets longer and longer and longer, and it feels like an ever growing to do list. And you feel pressured and you feel like you have to do all the things, you are absolutely high achieving your healing. And for that, I would absolutely invite you to consider allowing yourself to make a choice each day around what's going to feel really good, really supportive, really expansive for you. Without thinking that you have to do something as specific way in order for it to work. One of the things that I most learned about being an entrepreneur, about being a leader, about being in business, about being an energy healer over the past several years, is that the more you can follow your own internal guidance. The more you can allow that your own internal compass to really speak, the easier things go. So that's the other piece of this, right? Instead of just doing something because you've always done it that way, this is giving you the permission slip to try something different.
Brenda 00:23:20 And as I was making tea this afternoon, I love Yogi tea. My favorite is the sweet positive Energy tangerine or something like that. And they have these little sayings on the tea bag, papers that keep the the string of the tea bag from falling into the tea. And this one said, live consciously. And I was thinking, you know what? That's what it is. That's what it is. When we allow ourselves to change up our routine, we're allowing ourselves to be conscious or intentional about how we're spending our time. So as you're trying this one experiment this week, either changing the time of your walk or your coffee or your work time, or you're rearranging your space, or you're starting your morning with something different. Invitation to notice. Be intentional about noticing what's happening in your body. Is it feeling lighter? Is it feeling more expansive, more open, more energized? Is it feeling heavier or constricted or tight? Whatever that is? That's the compass. That's the marker that you'll use to decide if it's working or if it's not.
Brenda 00:24:32 Not what anyone else says, including me. Small changes in your routine can open big awareness and everything starts with awareness. So in a quick recap, your routines can anchor you or they can limit you. And it might be a combination of both depending on the routine. What matters is not the actual routine and whether or not you change it. What matters is noticing when something is or is not serving you anymore. So my question for you is, is there a routine that you're ready to shift? And if so, I'd love to hear from you. Please DM me on Facebook or Instagram or you can email me. I want to know what is the routine. You're ready to shift. And if today's conversation has you thinking about whether your routines are helping you or holding you back, I want to give you a tool that I use personally, and I use it with my clients as well. It's called the Energy Audit. And maybe you've heard me talk about this before, but this is a really simple, powerful way to see exactly what's fueling you and what's draining you so that you can stop running on autopilot.
Brenda 00:25:53 You can start leading from consciousness, intentionality, clarity, and alignment. So in this energy audit, you're going to be rating things on a scale of is this bringing me joy? Or am I noticing the hit that feel good dopamine hit of achievement? Because achievement is not the same thing as joy, although it's so easy to confuse them. Well, let's talk about that in another podcast episode. You can grab that free energy audit at Brenda Winkle audit. That's Brenda Winkle. It's the perfect next step if you're ready to create more energy, more space and more ease in your leadership. Thank you so much for listening to your yes filled life. If you enjoyed this episode, would you please consider doing two things sharing it with three people you care about and going to leave the podcast, your rating and review. Thank you for being here. Here's to our continued evolution. Bye for now. Until next time.
