Brenda Winkle 00:00:01 Welcome to your yes filled life. I'm Brenda Winkle, energetic leadership guide, psychic, medium and somatic coach for ambitious leaders who know their gifts are real and who want to stand fully in them. Here you'll learn how to trust your intuition, embody your vision, and step into the freedom you've been craving, all without chasing more certifications or carrying stuff that does not belong to you. Every week, I'll share powerful practices and conversations with thought leaders and changemakers that help you transform your vision into embodied confidence. Claim your gifts without apology and lead with both clarity and freedom. Because your gifts aren't cute. They are powerful. They're real, and they're needed. Start today by downloading my free energy audit at Brenda Winkle. Com forward slash audit. It's the exact tool I use to track what's fueling me and what's draining me. It will help you discern between that hit of achievement and true joy, so that you can lead with more clarity and impact. This is your space to stop proving, start embodying and live fully in your gifts.
Brenda Winkle 00:01:16 Welcome to your yes filled life. Hello and welcome to your yes filled life. I'm your host, Brenda Winkle. Energetic leadership guide, psychic medium, somatic coach for intuitive leaders, coaches, healers, and changemakers who are ready to lead from clarity, not chaos. If you've ever felt like you should know your next step, but the more you think about it, the foggers it gets this episode is for you. So today we're talking about the three clarity blocks that keep intuitive leaders second guessing themselves. And I'm going to share with you how you can move forward with ease instead of force through those clarity blocks. Because clarity doesn't come from pushing harder. It doesn't come from working faster or even doing more. It comes from slowing down, being intentional, tending to your nervous system, and making sure you feel really good. Now, I want to be very, very clear. I am not blaming you. I am not blaming your energy. If things haven't gone the way that you wanted up till now, please don't hear that.
Brenda Winkle 00:02:26 I know that that's a really common rhetoric right now in the health and wellness space where you'll hear, oh, it's just your energy. Your energy is bad. Oh, hey, babe, it's just your nervous system. Look. That's fantasy marketing. And it is untrue. It is untrue. True. You can be successful even when you feel like a bag of balls. If you're willing to do the right work, you can be successful even if your nervous system is a little bit amped up. You can be successful even if your energy is not what you want it to be. Will it be easier if those three things are in place? Yes of course. That's a no brainer. But please do not interpret this to mean that what I'm going to teach you is go sit on your meditation pillow, feel really good, do some breathwork, and then everything is going to work out and you'll never have to do anything scary. Okay, no, that's not what I'm going to be saying, because what I'm seeing be taught in so many of the spaces for spiritual and intuitive entrepreneurs is that, oh, you just need to meditate more or do more Reiki.
Brenda Winkle 00:03:36 And then what's missing are the actual action steps that are going to move the needle. Yes, you will get inspired ideas. Yes, the universe will move to meet you. Yes, the universe can do the most of the heavy lifting and also you have to take some inspired actions. It's required. The Law of Attraction isn't going to work for you if the only thing you do is sit and wait, there's an action step that's required. That's what creates the momentum that you want. So when we talk today about this, I want you to keep this in mind that my expectation is you're going to go take an inspired action. You're going to go do something with that idea that you just got from listening to this podcast episode, or from the walk that you're going to take later today, or from the nap that you took. Take the inspired action, do the thing. And before we dive in, if this episode hits home, I want you to know there's an entire workshop waiting for you called the Clarity Workshop.
Brenda Winkle 00:04:46 It's available on demand for $25. You'll get immediate access to the replay and the workbook, which will help you move from any sense of fog into total clarity and focus in under 90 minutes. And I'll link it in the show notes for you. And if you prefer you, you can go to Brendan Winkle. But let's get started. So I'm going to be identifying three clarity blocks that I see very commonly in my practice as a somatic coach, an intuitive guide, a leadership coach. The first one is the energy leak. Now so many times we talk about energy leaks as though we're the ones leaking the energy. And that can happen. Absolutely. It can happen. I don't want to send the message that it can't. If you haven't yet downloaded the energy audit, you should probably go do that, because that's what we're talking about. Inside that energy audit is where are you leaking energy? But the energy leak that I'm talking about that's affecting your clarity is the energy leak when you're actually allowing other people's energy and emotion to impact and influence you in ways that you're not consciously aware of.
Brenda Winkle 00:05:58 So if you have a deep level of empathy or intuition, you probably have done this without even realizing it. And when you make a decision and you feel peace for like a short period of time, whether it's the time that you're around that person or maybe it's the rest of the day, and then you wake up the next day, or the person leaves and all of a sudden you're like, wait, what did I just agree to? This has happened to you. Where you've absorbed their energy, their emotions, their opinions. That's not your intuition. It is an ability, and it's an ability not everybody has, which is why we're not talking about it very often. So I call that empathy. Now this is a different level of empathy. My hope would be that we all have empathy, but we know that that's not true. If we look at current US politics, But this specific type of empathy is a very special gift. We know from the research and I talked about this last week, too, from Elaine Aaron, that approximately 30% of the population can be identified as highly sensitive, meaning we have more neuro receptors and neurotransmitters in the brain, which actually heighten our sensitivities, our physical senses.
Brenda Winkle 00:07:14 And we know from the work that's being done right now in senses that there are more than five senses. At last count, when I was digging into the research, I saw that we have identified 34 senses. So if you're highly sensitive, chances are you have other senses online that aren't commonly talked about that go beyond the sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch. And we know that of the 30% of the population, that's highly sensitive. 10% of those people are known as empaths. We can see it in brain scans, and we know that an empath is much more sensitive to the emotions and energy of people around them. If you are in this category, you read facial expressions so much more effectively than other people. You actually feel energy and emotion in your body. You are experiencing other people's emotions inside your body. That's part of your empathic ability and we don't totally understand it. But we can see in the brain scans that the brains of people with this ability are in fact different. If you identify as a healer, whether that's a Reiki healer, energy healer, breathwork facilitator, sound healer, a physician, a nurse, or perhaps an educator, a teacher, you probably have higher levels of empathy and compassion than people in your life, right? We probably have higher levels than a lot of people in your family.
Brenda Winkle 00:08:50 And if you're drawn to this podcast, you may have even higher levels of empathy and compassion than the people that you work with. And I want you to know that there's nothing wrong with you. You just have abilities that make it feel like you're different. And the problem is, you don't know that you're different. And so it's shocking to you when other people aren't as sensitive to the emotional waves that run through people. And it's shocking to you when that's not reciprocated, right? So when we're talking about plugging this specific energy leak, what we're really talking about is creating energetic sovereignty so that you don't lose that ability. So you don't lose that compassion or empathy, but you stop having to experience it inside your own body so that you're not as affected by other people's and emotions. I know that one of the top fears of people who have this, this gift of empathy and compassion, is they don't want to lose their empathy and compassion. So they're really scared to do anything that they think might make them less them.
Brenda Winkle 00:10:04 Because you know that your deep empathy and compassion is a really special part of of who you are. I don't want you to lose that either. We need that in the world more than ever. But we also need you to be functioning from a very empowered place where you're taking on less energy and emotion from other people. And so that's what we're diving into here. So this client of mine I'm going to talk about today came into me after launching her company. Her company was very successful. It was a fairly large company. She served a lot of clients, and she kept changing her offer. And every time she would change her offer, She would be very, very, very excited about it. And she would have these ideas sort of in the middle of the night, she'd have journal entries with pages and pages and pages of how these offers should come forward and who she would serve and how it would work, and all the things. And she would be so excited. And then she would talk to one of her peers or her friend about it, and they'd be like, oh, I don't think that's going to work.
Brenda Winkle 00:11:09 And then she would change her mind, and then she'd redesign her offer again, and the same process would repeat. And it was happening over and over and over. And by the time we started to work together, she had changed her offer three different times. And she was frustrated because she knew she kept getting really good ideas. And she was frustrated because every time she shared her idea with somebody, they would talk her out of it and then she changed course. And so she was really confused about was she being flexible and open minded? Or was she observing everybody else's fear? And when she came to me, she really didn't know the answer. She wanted to be flexible and open minded. She did not want to absorb other people's fear, but she couldn't tell the difference. She couldn't tell what was what. And so over the course of working together, we got really clear on how she could feel what was happening inside her own body. So I want you to keep in mind this was not like a a miracle moment where I said something and then poof, everything suddenly cleared up for her forever and ever.
Brenda Winkle 00:12:23 It was more of a process. And I want to be really clear with that, because I don't want you to think that there is some kind of a magic bullet out there that can make you, instantly, instantly change your ability of empathy where you have been absorbing it at your whole life, and now you're not going to. It's not that simple. And even me, I've been practicing this for a very long time, more than a decade, and I still sometimes make mistakes and I still will absorb other people's energy and emotion. So I just want to set that expectation before we begin, because I am not into fantasy marketing here. Okay. So what I would like you to do is I would like you to put one hand on your belly and one hand on your heart. And if you're driving, don't do that. Obviously. Maybe you can, either save this for later or listen now and then come back later and do this with your hand in your heart and your hand and your belly either way.
Brenda Winkle 00:13:24 And then what I'd like you to do is to do what I teach all of my clients and students to do after they are holding a session with somebody. And that is a very simple phrase, which is what's yours is yours, what's mine is mine. I now reclaim all my energy and send back anything that's not mine. I'm going to say that again. What's yours is yours. What's mine is mine. I now reclaim all my energy and send back anything that's not mine. I do this practice all the time, and I just felt a shift right there. Even though I've already done it once. Today I felt a shift right there. And so my guess is you might feel a shift to this type of sovereignty. Exercise is so important if you're working with people, and most of us are working with people, and if we're not working with people we know people or we're around people or we have friends or, you know, so this practice is very, very, very important. I invite you to do that.
Brenda Winkle 00:14:30 Do it every day. Do it at the end of every session. Because when you learn to separate your energy from everybody else's, the clarity that you've been desiring for becomes quiet and strong. See, that's the thing. Clarity tends to be on the quieter side. Your voices of doubt, or voices of other people's opinions or different things like that. They're loud. But your clarity, that's a little bit quieter. It's just a deep, grounded knowing. And so we want to create space for it. And this exercise can help you do that. Okay. Let's move into clarity block number two. I call this one the productivity trap. So this is another one that I've lived myself. And it's where we confuse being in motion with actual progress. Now there's a couple reasons that this comes up for us. One is that we've been taught if we slow down or we take a break, that we're bad, that we've failed, and it might create a sense of urgency in your body. Like maybe you can't even rest or slow down.
Brenda Winkle 00:15:41 And the other thing that can happen is not only what we've been taught about this, but if you are in a fight or flight response on the stress scale, that means you have an overactive nervous system. The underactive part would be if you were in freeze or fun, but if you have the overactive nervous system and you're in fight or flight, then a lot of times what can happen is the more motion you're in, the more motion you want to be in. And so you're seeking more calendar items, more busyness, more tasks, more productivity. And so this can be something that you have learned through culture. Or it can be a nervous system response. Okay. So when I look at what's happening inside my life and inside my clients lives, one of the things that feels really painful is when somebody is putting themselves out there, they think and nothing's happening. Nothing's. Nothing's landing. Like they're putting themselves out there and they're not getting emails back or calls back, or they're posting on social media, and it's not really translating into clients or conversations, even in the DMs.
Brenda Winkle 00:16:50 It's just like constant outgo of stuff and nothing's happening. So when we get clear, we can actually begin to shift that. And so this is the clarity block. Remember I said it was the productivity trap. So if you find yourself in constant motion and if things aren't working or things aren't landing, I'm going to invite you to pause, literally pause and stop the forward momentum of whatever you're working on. And even if that means you take like a half day off or you stop doing whatever you were doing just long enough to give your nervous system a chance to recalibrate. It's going to be amazing to you all of a sudden, the clarity that you have. We have to sometimes stop the motion. And so one of the things that I saw when I was a Mary Kay sales director, I would see people who would say, I'm working from this hour to this hour. And what was happening was they were rearranging the product in their closet shelves. Is that work? Well, yeah, technically, but is that going to get them more clients? No, not a chance.
Brenda Winkle 00:18:04 Not a chance. Is dusting off the product in your shelves going to get you more clients? And we're doing this in our online businesses as coaches and healers. And you're frustrated because you're like, I don't know where I'm going to get clients. No one seems to be getting clients, but that's because you're dusting off the product of your life, meaning you're posting random shit on Facebook and Instagram, and then you're like, well, I don't know. I'm not getting any clients. Well, yeah, the client, the content is not even yours If you're posting memes, you're posting other people's opinions, or you're posting, different things. So yeah, this is hard. This is hard because if you're doing those things or you're only posting family pictures and then you're like, well, nobody seems to know I'm a coach. That's because nobody knows you're a coach because you're not being obvious about it. Now, I'm not saying you have to put things on social media. Please do not misinterpret that. There's a lot of ways to be successful in business that that do or do not include social media.
Brenda Winkle 00:19:07 But the point I'm trying to make is sometimes we need to pause the action to be able to assess what's happening. Because when I have asked clients who say to me, I'm posting all the time, I'm sharing all the time, and I'm not getting any clients, and I look at what they're posting on social media and then I read their emails. I'm like, oh, I see what's going on here. Number one, you're not asking for anything. You're not telling people what your offer is. You're not even showing what your availability is. You're just saying stuff and there's no call to action. That's problem one. Problem two is you're just in motion, like sharing family pictures and sharing inspirational stuff. And it's not landing the way you want it to because people don't know how you want it to land because they're just relating to you as, oh, she's a mom or oh, she's a dog mom or whatever the case may be. What we want to do is we want to be direct, and we want to provide entertainment and connection and share our lives in whatever way we choose or don't choose.
Brenda Winkle 00:20:17 But we also want to make sure that what we're doing actually connects to the work that we do. So, like if you're an energy healer and you don't talk about energy healing on your social channels, and you don't offer opportunities for people to engage with you as an energy healer. People aren't going to know. Right? And this was clear for this client that I'm mentioning. And what was happening for her is she was overstimulated. Her brain was absolutely stuck in fight mode, and she was mistaking activity for safety. It felt safer for her when she was posting random pictures of dogs and and cats and kids and family members, her nervous system felt safe and she was telling herself she was taking action, but it didn't connect to her business at all. And so as soon as we realized this, we were like, oh, okay, so here's what we're going to do. Next time you post, you're going to pause, you're going to pause, and you're going to take a deep breath or maybe 2 or 4 deep breaths, and you're going to ask, what is it? I want people to know, why am I posting this? And if you don't have a clear answer, don't post.
Brenda Winkle 00:21:32 And I'm referencing social media here, but this could be for anything. If you don't have a clear thing in mind about why somebody would, or what you want somebody to do. Maybe don't spend the time to write the email just then. Maybe wait until you have a little bit more clarity. How are you going to get that clarity? Well, I'm going to ask you to pause. Last week on the podcast, I shared the power of the pause. In fact, I think that is the podcast episode title. I'll try and link it here, because when you pause, a lot of times we're scared we're going to lose momentum. And what happens when we create these pauses is we actually get clarity around what motion we should take. So we don't actually lose momentum. We streamline it and we get more organized. And you can do this every time that you get ready to do anything. Whether it's send an email you don't feel particularly confident about sending or making a post or reaching out to a client because those types of things are going to actually create momentum in your business, where dusting the product may not.
Brenda Winkle 00:22:44 And our version of dusting the product in the online business space is redesigning your Canva graphics, redesigning your web page, or maybe redesigning your entire web site. Those are all versions of dusting off product. We could talk more about that another time. So you're going to pause so that we are not mistaking action for productivity. We want to be clear that what we're doing is actually tied to what we're doing. Okay. Block number three. Ooh, this one's a big one. This one is the unworthiness loop. This block, for clarity, is the block that has us waiting for permission. And it sounds like I'm going to start when I feel just a little bit more ready, or I'm going to start when XYZ external event happens. Or once I take this next course, then I'll finally launch. Or when I'm less emotional, I'll be able to trust myself. So I had this client who is sitting on a program for 18 months, 18 months now. She told me she needed one more certification to prove that she could teach it.
Brenda Winkle 00:24:02 Well, you know, sometimes we do need more certifications to do what we want to do. It's true. Sometimes we do. Sometimes it's true that we need to implement the certifications we already have. And if you're certified and you have ways that you can be working in your business and contributing Now you don't need another certification to do the work that you know you could do. Now that is an unworthiness loop problem. It's not actually a certification problem. And so what this is linking back to is a deep fear that you're not good enough, or that you're not credible, or that you might be misunderstood or judged. Readiness is not a credential. Your life is your credential. And being ready is actually an internal decision. You become ready the moment you decide your wisdom is enough. And if you're waiting for the sign, here it is. This is your permission slip to move forward. Say yes now to whatever it is that you've been waiting on, and let your body learn what ready feels like. Will you be scared? Yeah, Probably you will.
Brenda Winkle 00:25:26 We are not going to wait until fear is not present. Because if we do, we'll be waiting forever. Even recording this episode, I felt butterflies. Every time I post on social media, I feel just a little bit of, ooh, am I really going to post this? I'm not doing things because I don't have the fear. I have the fear. As I launched my new membership, the Regulated Entrepreneur, it got really loud for me because I've never held a membership. I was told early in my training that I should avoid a membership, but I just feel so called. And so as I'm launching this new membership, which is now available, by the way, I had to come up against the people who said I shouldn't do it, the people who said I couldn't do it, and my own beliefs of worthiness of like, who was I to put together a membership? And End. I was scared most of the way. In fact, I'm still a little scared. But I'm doing it anyway.
Brenda Winkle 00:26:32 And so I want to be really clear that you can't wait until you're not scared. You're going to be scared. Do it anyway. Do it. Scared. Do it. Scared. Now let's anchor this together. Okay. Let's take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. And I'd love to ask you a question for you to ask yourself. Which is? What clarity do I already have that I'm pretending I don't? What clarity do I already have that I'm pretending I don't. Because probably you already know the next step. You just haven't given yourself permission to take it. Clarity is not found in the rush. It's found in the pores. It's found in the in-between, and it's found in taking action. Action is what brings clarity. My mentor, Marie Forleo, always says clarity comes from action. That's how you can learn to listen to your intuition again. Now, if this episode lit something up in you, here's your next step. You can go access the Clarity Workshop that's the on demand workshop for $25.
Brenda Winkle 00:27:53 Then I'm going to walk you through the exact framework I walk my private clients through to clear energy leaks, regulate your nervous system, and move from overthinking into aligned action. It's just $25 and you can start right now at Brandon Winkle for clarity. This is like the taste tester of working with me. One of the things I've decided is I'm going to share my entire framework all the time, and then I'm just going to go deeper into that framework with you, depending on on how deeply you would like to work. So that's like the taste test. If you want an appetizer. Come join me inside the Regulated Entrepreneur membership. This is like the small plate version. And this is also a community. When I was on calls with dozens of entrepreneurs and creatives and heartland leaders over the past few months asking what they really wanted, there were two things that came up in almost every call. One is they want to be paid for their work, and the second, they want a community. So this is a community.
Brenda Winkle 00:28:58 It's called the Regulated Entrepreneur. And we dive into nervous system regulation with monthly breathwork sessions, intuitive strategy, real world growth. This is your space if you want it. It's for intuitive leaders, creatives, educators, entrepreneurs, business owners to grow from grounded energy, not from adrenaline. It's a place for us to come together. We'll have monthly regulation sessions, group coaching, and practical tools to help you stay clear and consistent in your business, whether that's between lunches or even if you're in your first season of creation. So that's the the appetizer. Now, if you want an entree invitation to come join me at the retreat in March of 2026, we'll be live together oceanfront March 3rd through 5 in 2026 for an immersive retreat where your purpose meets intuition and your clarity becomes action. And we'll be live in Lincoln City, Oregon, from March 3rd through five. And if there's any part of you that has curiosity or interest in this retreat, even if you don't think you can go to those days, please apply.
Brenda Winkle 00:30:06 I have been hearing a lot of interest, so much interest in this retreat from people who can't attend those dates or can't attend in Oregon, that I'm going to probably put together an offer for a virtual retreat with the exact same content after this retreat, so you can learn more by going to Brenda Winkle retreat. And if you're feeling that quietness in your body, that's your intuition speaking. Learn to trust it. Because clarity isn't something you choose, it's something you allow. And when your body feels safe, your wisdom becomes magnetic. Thank you so much for being here on your useful life. If there are topics that you would like me to dive into, please reach out and let me know what you want to hear about. Because I want this to be a really high value show for you. If you got value out of this episode, would you please consider sharing this with 2 or 3 friends and leaving the podcast your rating and review wherever you're listening. Thank you so much for being here today. Bye for now.
Brenda Winkle 00:31:07 Until next time.
